UPJOKE
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There is a mysterious blockage high up in my nasal cavity...

...I would like to figure out what it is, but I just can't put my finger on it.

I set up a production business for oils that clear up colds and nasal blockages.

An olfactory oil factory

An elderly woman goes to the doctor.

An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, it's terrible, I pass gas all the time. Fortunately, it's odorless and silent, otherwise, I'd be mortified. For example, I've passed gas ten times just since we've been talking, but it's odorless and silent so you can't tell." The doctor gives her...

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A couple go out to a posh restaurant for dinner

The place is very exclusive and features also a live band playing gentle music, and fancy expensive food and wine. They settle in and order and initially the evening is fine and enjoyable.
Lady is eating duck, which can often have small bones. She doesn't notice and swallows a bite, chased with a...

Jesus said, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

But I think it'd be nice if God let everyone see him, regardless if you have a coronary blockage.

The doctor takes a peek

Disclaimer: This is a re-tell of a joke as my late uncle used to tell it to me.

So there was a guy named Joe that had lost an eye. As it would happen, the only solution was to get a glass eye as to make him feel a little better. Every night he would carefully put it into a glass of solution ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Circus Elephant

A man was wandering around a circus and stopped to watch a guy hosing down an Elephant. The man asked him how he liked looking after such a large beast. "Well" said the man,"It's a very dirty and time consuming job.I'm awake at 5am to prepare his breakfast, then shovel out the shit that has been pro...

My wife and I were on our last warning with the landlord.

Then one day I phoned reluctantly and said, "Mate, I just did an enormous poo and now there's a blockage."



"Goodness me," he cried. "You guys can't do anything right can you? What has your wife said?"



I said, "Next time don't use the sink."

I had to stop eating alphabet soup.

I kept developing a vowel blockage.

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