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Handrail Jokes

Saw a janitor wiping the handrail on an ascending escalator

He was cleaning up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Hippies Two Hippies are walking down a railroad track stoned.

One Hippie says "This is a really long fucking staircase!"

The other Hippie says "I don't mind the stairs, it's this low fucking handrail thats killing me."

A tourist group

A tourist group is lead over a mountain path.
One of the tourists gets extremely nervous and says to their native guide:
"You really could have put a handrail on the side"
The guide answers:
"There was a handrail, but it became too expensive, the tourists always took it down with them wh...

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Penis enlargement NSFW (Long)

Paddy's wife complains to him that his penis is too small and doesn't satisfy her, so on a visit to the local pub, after a few pints, he seeks advice from Mick, who's a well-known ladies' man.

"Do what I do," says Mick. "As I go upstairs, I slap my pecker off the handrail with every step I ta...

Two drunks are walking down the railroad tracks...

Two drunks are walking down the railroad tracks.

One turns to the other and says, "This is the longest set of stairs I've ever been on."

Drunk two replies, "It's not the length, it's these low handrails that are killing me."

[Long] A passenger plane is flying through the Himalayas

A passenger plane is flying through the Himalayas. Suddenly, a giant mountain appears. It does not seem like that the plane is able to fly over the mountain.

The pilot says: "Dear passengers, please stay calm. Due to exceeding our weight limit, our plane is not flying at our desired altitude....

Two intoxicated hobos were walking on a railroad track.

After a while of struggling, one of them slurred, "This must be the longest staircase in the world." The other replied in a drunken lisp, "That's not so bad. But, what's killing me are these low handrails.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A band had a gig

And after the gig the guitarist, the drummer and the basist got really drunk in a bar. After the bar, the group somehow got on the traintracks and after a mile of walk the guitarist goes: holy fuck these are the longest stairs I’ve ever walked on, and after that the drummer says: yeah and these hand...

Two Drunk Farmers

Two drunk farmers are helping each other home late one night, staggering down the railroad tracks. After about half a mile, Vern declares with some annoyance, "Shoot, this sure is a long staircase!"
At that Chet slurs back, "Well, it ain't the stairs that're botherin' me so much as these stink'in...

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A man talks to the priest about the death of his friend

In the confessional, a man comes down and says:

- Father, did you know that Wilson died?

- How sad, son ... But what happened to him?

- He was driving his car near my house at full speed, the brakes failed and the car crashed into a pole. Wilson was launched through the windscre...

Chaos Theory

Two friends are chatting in a pub.

- Have you heard that Mike died yesterday?

-- Oh no! What happened to him?

- He was about to pass our house driving his car when he crashed into a parking car on the side of the road, broke through the wind shield, flown through straight in our...

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