My wife and I were walking out of a nice restaurant, and there was a young teen in shabby clothes asking people for their doggy bags

We immediately gave him ours. I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes - what gave me away?"

I replied, "Obviously, your parents."

My girlfriend said she wanted me doggy style in the park

So I ran round licking everyone

I love doggy style

I sit up and beg while my girlfriend lies down and plays dead.

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

"Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asked the one.

"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

Why do Canadians like to do it doggy style?

So they can both watch the hockey game.

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Why won't this bitch sleep with me?

All I've done is treat her well, better than most people have, I've spent a tonne of money on her, I treat her everyday, and my bed is way more comfortable then her doggy bed, but she still prefers to sleep on her doggy bed anyway.

I ask my wife if we could try to do it doggy style...

She rolled over and played dead

At breakfast, a husband says to his wife, "I want to try doggy tonight."

Surprisingly enough, the wife agrees.

So that night, both quite excited, the husband cooks his wife a lovely dinner.
After enjoying the meal they head upstairs and get into bed. The husband leans
over to his wife, kisses her on the cheek and says, "night night sweet heart"

The wi...

Q : "Do you the difference between 5 minutess of sodomy and 5 minutes of doggy style ? "

A : "No"
Q : "Do you have 10 minutes ?"

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Two guys sitting at a bar.

Suddenly one begins rattling off : "You know what? Last night I fucked your Mom! "


Other guys says nothing but looks agitated.


" Yeah!" first guy continues. "First I took her doggy style! Then she gave me a blow job, and finally I came up her butt! "


Second ...

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My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has been disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy - and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

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Had sex with the wife for 30 minutes doggy style

last night. That's about 4 minutes in human time.

Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

Someone told him to get a long little doggy.

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Rodeo style sex.

Call her by her sister's name during doggy-style, and try to stay on for 10 seconds.

My girlfriend is mad because I could only last 2 minutes in bed

In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.

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New sex position.

Have you tried the new sex position? "The Froggy Style."


Much like Doggy style, only you aim an Inch higher.

And watch how high she leaps.

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Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman in court...

the judge says "I'm in a good mood today and i'm a dog lover as you well know, now if you can sing me a song about a dog i'll let you off, but if you can't then you're going away for a very long time" Englishman went first "How much is that doggy in the window, the one with the waggly tail..." "Case...

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2 friends go to do a job interview

Before the interview receptionist asks them for their basic details to fill in a form:

Reciptionist: Name?

First friend: Willy Ben Chen.

Receptionist: Sex?

First friend: 3 to 4 times a week.

Receptionist: *shakes* no, I mean male or female.

First friend:...

I ate at a Korean restaurant last night.

The meal was excellent, but I really wish I hadn't asked for a doggy bag.

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Two men were discussing their favorite sex styles

Man 1: I usually go doggy style or cowgirl. It’s just the easiest for me.

Man 2: Then you never had it in machinists style. You gotta try that it’s the best.

Man 1: What do you do in the machinist style?

Man 2: Screw, nut and bolt.

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There's some soldiers in Vietnam.And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. ( Dark Joke )

Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes.When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back."

So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle.

But he's gone for a good half an hou...

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My boyfriend wants to do doggy style.

He's been on my ass about it all day.

While playing catch with our pet Alsatian in the yard,

He returned with a bunny in his mouth. Quite clearly it was our neighbors pet bunny. The same distinctive brown patch! We both dashed to our doggy and gently pried the bunny out of his mouth.

It was quite clearly dead.

We panicked and looked over to the neighbors yard. He wasn't in and...

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Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

My Girlfriend got both our dogs sweaters...

Shes’s always loved doggy-style

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Favourite Sex Styles

Two cowboys were discussing about their favorite sex styles
Cowboy 1: My Favorite sex style is doggy style.
Cowboy 2: My favorite sex style is rodeo style.
Cowboy 1: Whats that?
Cowboy 2: Well it starts of just like doggy style.....then grasp her tits from behind and tell "this titties ...

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A bear got the habit to steal mead from one bee-garden

Owner doesn't know what to do: as soon as he gets the gun out, bear climbs to a large tree and can't be reached. One day beekeeper sees advertisement in a local paper: will help with any animals. He calls the number, and over an hour hefty man arrives with a shovel and tiny white dog. This is Snowfl...

I tried to start a doggy day care, but it failed within the first couple days.

I only had a ruff idea of what I was doing.

Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of bodily fluids for doggy biscuits?

Well, urine for a treat!

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Did you know it's a sin to have sex before marriage?

Except if you do it doggy style...as all dogs go to heaven.

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NSFW Two guys are on a camping trip...

And on the last day, they can't decide on what to do. So one decides he'll go for a lonely walk in the forest, while the other goes to a mountain lake.

When they meet up in the evening, the forest guy is "Hey, how did your day go?"

"Awesome. I went to this mountain lake, and there was...

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My GF broke up with me over a misunderstanding when we tried a new sexual position

Apparently, her "doggy style" doesn't involve any real dog

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Doggy birth control

An old woman has two dachsunds, one male and one female. A friend asks her how she stops them breeding when the female comes into heat?
"I just put Trudi upstairs, while I keep Heinz on the main floor," the owner explains.
Puzzled, the friend asks how that helps?
The old girl replies, "Have...

Why do redneck couples love to do it doggy-style?

That way they can both watch the Monster Trucks.

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Did you know that gorillas prefer doggy style?

It makes my job as an ape sperm collector a real pain in the ass.

How did the doggy scientist get into his secret lair?

Through a Lab-bra-door.

I love it doggy style. But my wife always insists

...that I give her a treat afterwards.

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What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style?

A sexual revolution.

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The Three Challenges

**TL;DR:** Jokes don't have TL;DRs.

A man named Andrew walks into a bar, makes his way to the stool and asks the bartender for some Whiskey, on the rocks.

As the bartender serves Andrew his order, his eyes fall on a relatively large jar of money filled with $100 bills. He gets curious...

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They say that the most powerful way for a woman to have sex is doggy style...

Then they're really bangin' on all fours.

Why do tweakers do it doggy-style?

So they can both look out the window.

A friend of mine is a cowboy and is obsessed with miniature dachshunds

He's always saying "Get a long, little doggy"

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Little Johnny and his dad.

One night little Johnny wakes up to hear some banging on his bedroom wall and his mom sounding like she was in pain. He jumps out of bed and runs to his parents room, opens the door to find his dad on top of his mom giving her a good seeing too.
Little Johnny is horrified and shouts at his dad,<...

Me: I was recently diagnosed with Hyphil. My Wife: What’s Hyphil?

Me: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape that can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Fl...

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One night my girlfriend and I walked our dog.

When the dog finished their business, I went to pick it up in a doggy bag but couldn't find it in the dark.

Girlfriend- "what's wrong?"

Me- "I can't see shit."

Men shouldn't feel bad if they only last 8 minutes doing it doggy style...

Because that's almost an hour in dog time...

[OC] I just spent my morning break writing this joke.

Jeff had spent most of his adult life in prison for a string of drug offenses and theft. He is finally being released at 28 years old after a decade in prison.

He approaches his jailhouse lover, Vince, a former English teacher and schoolboy fondler. Vince was a little sad to say goodbye, and...

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Two Friends graduate together from a college. One of them becomes a businessman and the other becomes a forest officer

After a few years, the forest officer (FO) invites the businessman(BM) to visit him in the jungles of which he was incharge. The BM agrees at once and arrives at the forest within a week. They talk about old days and everything and then the FO takes him out to the jungle for a tour. A kilometer insi...

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