Doggy Jokes - 52 Hilarious Doggy Jokes

My wife and I make love doggy style...

I sit up and beg, she lies down and plays dead.

At breakfast, a husband says to his wife, "I want to try doggy tonight."

Surprisingly enough, the wife agrees.

So that night, both quite excited, the husband cooks his wife a lovely dinner.
After enjoying the meal they head upstairs and get into bed. The husband leans
over to his wife, kisses her on the cheek and says, "night night sweet heart"

The wi...

Hey, why do people from Philly like it doggy style?

So they can both watch the Cowboys lose

Why do some women prefer doggy style

They hate to see a man have a good time

My wife and I did it Doggy Style last night...

I sat up and begged, and she rolled over and played dead.

New Doggy

I've just gone and bought a dog off a Blacksmith!!!

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door!

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Doggy

A man walks into a bar looking to unwind after a stressful week. He orders his favorite drink and takes a look around. On one of the shelves behind the bartender is a huge glass jar full of hundreds of hundred dollar bills. Noticing the large amount of money, the man is intrigued.

"What's up...

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Doggy birth control

An old woman has two dachsunds, one male and one female. A friend asks her how she stops them breeding when the female comes into heat?
"I just put Trudi upstairs, while I keep Heinz on the main floor," the owner explains.
Puzzled, the friend asks how that helps?
The old girl replies, "Have...

My girlfriend is mad because I could only last 2 minutes in bed

In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.

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My girlfriend wanted to try doggy style...

Apparently, slobbering all over her and dragging my ass along the carpet wasn't what she had in mind..

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

"Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asked the one.

"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

What does a diplomat and a good doggy have in common?

They both want treaties.

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Had sex with the wife for 30 minutes doggy style

last night. That's about 4 minutes in human time.

Why do Canadians do it doggy-style?

So they both can watch the hockey game.

(Told to me by my 11th grade English teacher, who should have known better. Shame on you, Mr. Avril.)

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My girlfriend and I only ever have sex in the doggy style position

She said I misunderstood her when she told me she "likes it ruff"

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Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

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Jack Russle and Great Dane at the vets...

A Jack Russell and a Great Dane are in the waiting room at a vets...

JR: "Why are you here ?"

GD: "Fuck off."

JR: "No, come on, let's be friendly, we're both dogs, we don't want to be here, we should support each other,"

GD: "<sigh>"

JR: "I'll tell you why I'...

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A lady asked me what position I was looking for

I told her I normally like doggy style, but since she was pretty hot, I'd be into it if she wanted to sit on my face while I jerked off. She got pissed off and asked me to leave her office, I don't think that job interview went very well.

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My wife asked if I'd like to try a new sex position

She said it's called "doggy style".

I said "yeah, I can get behind that".

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My boyfriend wants to do doggy style.

He's been on my ass about it all day.

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Did you know that gorillas prefer doggy style?

It makes my job as an ape sperm collector a real pain in the ass.

A man is trying to sell his dog to a neighbor...

"You can have this dog for only five dollars, and he can actually talk." says the man. His neighbor says, "That's ridiculous, everyone knows dogs can't speak."

The dog looks up at the neighbor with big, sad, doggy eyes and says, "Oh please, kind sir, buy me so I won't have to live with my cru...

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NSFW Two guys are on a camping trip...

And on the last day, they can't decide on what to do. So one decides he'll go for a lonely walk in the forest, while the other goes to a mountain lake.

When they meet up in the evening, the forest guy is "Hey, how did your day go?"

"Awesome. I went to this mountain lake, and there was...

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Doggy Diet book

Did you hear about the new doggy diet book? It is titled "Shitzu shouldn't eat"

Why do redneck couples love to do it doggy-style?

That way they can both watch the Monster Trucks.

How did the doggy scientist get into his secret lair?

Through a Lab-bra-door.

Why do tweakers do it doggy-style?

So they can both look out the window.

Q : "Do you the difference between 5 minutess of sodomy and 5 minutes of doggy style ? "

A : "No"
Q : "Do you have 10 minutes ?"

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Two guys sitting at a bar.

Suddenly one begins rattling off : "You know what? Last night I fucked your Mom! "

Other guys says nothing but looks agitated.

" Yeah!" first guy continues. "First I took her doggy style! Then she gave me a blow job, and finally I came up her butt! "

Second ...

My wife and I were walking out of a nice restaurant, and there was a young teen in shabby clothes asking people for their doggy bags

We immediately gave him ours. I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes - what gave me away?"

I replied, "Obviously, your parents."

Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of bodily fluids for doggy biscuits?

Well, urine for a treat!

I love it doggy style. But my wife always insists

...that I give her a treat afterwards.

I tried to start a doggy day care, but it failed within the first couple days.

I only had a ruff idea of what I was doing.

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Did you hear there's a tournament for the best sexual position?

My money's on doggy style but they gotta come from behind.

5 Things you do not want to hear while having surgery:

1: "Ew, yuck! That's gross!

2: "No Spot, give that back! Bad dog! Bad, bad doggy!"

3: "Doctor, what are you doing here? Are you out on parole?

4: "Hey, this is great! We could use a good kidney!"

5: Can you figure out how to stop that thing from beating? It's ruining my c...

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My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has been disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy - and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

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What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style?

A sexual revolution.

Why did the cowboy have to buy a dachshund?

He had to get a long little doggy.

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Can I interview you?

Yes, of course.

Name?

Abdul

Sex?

3-4 times per week.

No, no.. Male/Female?

Yes, male and female. Sometimes Camel.

Holy Cow!

Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general

Isn't that hostile?

Yes, horse style, doggy style, any style
...

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Favourite Sex Styles

Two cowboys were discussing about their favorite sex styles
Cowboy 1: My Favorite sex style is doggy style.
Cowboy 2: My favorite sex style is rodeo style.
Cowboy 1: Whats that?
Cowboy 2: Well it starts of just like doggy style.....then grasp her tits from behind and tell "this titties ...

Why did the cowboy get a Weiner dog?

He wanted to git along little doggy...

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The woman went to the doctor and complained that she was suffering from...

...knee pains.

“Do you indulge in any activity that puts a lot of pressure on your knees?”,

asked the doctor.

“Every night, my husband and I have sex on the floor doggy style.”

“I see,” said the doctor. “You know, there are plenty of other sexual positions?”

“Not ...

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Deaf Couple on Honeymoon

A deaf couple gets married and is on their honeymoon. The lights go out and they begin having sex. The next morning the wife says, "Last night we seemed to be fumbling around quite a bit. Probably because the lights were out and we are unable to sign one another. Let's work out some simple signa...

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Did you know it's a sin to have sex before marriage?

Except if you do it doggy style...as all dogs go to heaven.

Men shouldn't feel bad if they only last 8 minutes doing it doggy style...

Because that's almost an hour in dog time...

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My GF broke up with me over a misunderstanding when we tried a new sexual position

Apparently, her "doggy style" doesn't involve any real dog

My Girlfriend got both our dogs sweaters...

Shes’s always loved doggy-style

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New sex position.

Have you tried the new sex position? "The Froggy Style."

Much like Doggy style, only you aim an Inch higher.

And watch how high she leaps.

Swimming contest

Joe and Jim were at the lake. Joe said, “Let’s have a swimming contest.” Jim said, “No way, you know you’ll win. You’re twice as fast as me.”

Joe said, “Well, how about if you take the canoe across while I swim? Will you race then?”

“Okay, we can do that,” Jim said, and across ...

Two guys are in a bar, having a beer and discussing different positions. The first one announces, “My favorite position is ‘the rodeo.’”

“How does that one work?” asks his friend.

“Well,” the first one replies, “you get your wife on all four on the bed, then do it to her doggy style. When she really starts enjoying it, you whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position, too.' Then you try and hang on for eight seconds!”

A friend of mine is a cowboy and is obsessed with miniature dachshunds

He's always saying "Get a long, little doggy"

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Two men were discussing their favorite sex styles

Man 1: I usually go doggy style or cowgirl. It’s just the easiest for me.

Man 2: Then you never had it in machinists style. You gotta try that it’s the best.

Man 1: What do you do in the machinist style?

Man 2: Screw, nut and bolt.

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