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Doggie Jokes

Why do Canadian couples like to do it doggie style?

So they can both watch the hockey game!

What is Snoop Doggie Dogs favorite type of weather?

Drizzle

Poor Doggie

After hearing a shot, Hank ran next door and found his friend Tony crying. "Say, what's wrong?" Hank asked. Tony sobbed, "I had to shoot my dog." Hank said, "My God! Was he mad?" Tony replied, "Well, he wasn't exactly overjoyed."

Doggie Style

Two buddies were drinking while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" Asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly..."
"I sit up and beg and she rolls ...

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It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position...

The husband sits up and begs.


The wife rolls over and plays dead.

A guy is walking, carrying a no-legged doggie in his arms.

A lady stops him:

“What a cute dog!”, she exclaims gleefully.. “What’s his name?”

“He doesn’t have one”, the guy replies. The lady is bewildered.

“Oh, no! Poor thing... how come you didn’t name him?”

The guy shrugs.

“If I’d call him, he wouldn’t come anyway”

My wife and I were walking out of a restaurant with a doggie bag, when we saw a young teen in shabby clothes sitting on the sidewalk

He asked if he could have our leftovers, so I gladly gave them to him.

I asked him if he was an orphan.

He said "Yes I am - what gave me away?"

I replied "Obviously, your parents."

Why did so many people in the old west have miniature dauchshunds?

Because cowboys would tell people, "get a long little doggie."

My son recently asked me why those 2 doggies were playing piggyback.

I said one is sick and the other is pushing him to the hospital.

Why do tweekers do it doggie style?

Son they can both look out the window.

As I rolled from my date and pulled off the condom, she complained "Is that it?"

"Well,we did doggie, so it should count as 14 minutes"

Did you hear about the dumb cowboy that got a dachshund?

Someone told him “get along little doggie.”

"Why have you got those marks on your knees?"

her friend asked.

"Oh, it's making love, doggie style."

"Well, why don't you change positions?"

"I'm willing, but the dog isn't."

A young cowboy get thrown out of a saloon Monday night.

Tuesday he returns with a dachshund under his arm.

The bartender asks “What’s with the dog?”

”Last night when I got out of hand and was thrown out I was told ‘Get a long little doggie.’”

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When it comes to sex I've never seen a disappointed look on any woman's face.

That's the advantage of doggie style.

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The Position

A young woman with oozing sores on her elbows and knees went to see a doctor. "You've got to help me," she said. "These sores won't heal. I can't wear any long sleeves or slacks, and they look awful." The doctor consulted his medical books and finally said, "I can only come up with one question to h...

What did the cowboy say to his wife that was trying to settle on getting a Dachshund or a St. Bernard?

You should get a long little doggie.

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A man goes to a psychiatrist

A man goes to a psychiatrist for a variety of psychological issues.

During the interview the subject of sex comes up.

The doctor asked him how often do you have intercourse with your wife?
Three times a week he replied.

And what's your favorite position that you both enjoy?...

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A blind man was walking down the street

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.

The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the do...

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Dog Style

An 80 yr old man marries a 25 year old young woman.

He seeks Doctor's advice on the best way to deal with it.

Oldman: "Doc, I am 80 and am going to be sexually active again. What's the best way to have safe sex without getting heart attack...??"

Doc: "At your age , I highly reco...

3 pregnant women are having lunch together when an elderly lady approaches them......... The elderly lady says: I can predict if you will have a boy or girl...... The Brunette says OK.....Will I have a boy or girl?????

The lady says...You were on top...you will have a boy....

The Brunette yells out.....I was on top and I am having a boy.

The elderly lady goes to the Red Haired woman and says....you were on bottom....you will have a girl

The Red Haired Woman yells out..... I was on bottom and I...

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Little Johnny saw two dogs having sex in the park...

... so he asks his mother what's going on.

The mom isn't ready to have "that talk" yet, so she makes up a story. "Well, Johnny," she says, "the doggie in the back hurt its front paws, so the one in the front is helping him get home."

Johnny thinks about that for a moment and then says...

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