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Attorneys Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two attorneys walk into a cafe

However, they do not order anything. Instead, they both reach into their respective briefcases and pull out a sandwich each. Seeing this, a grumpy old waiter walks over to them.

"Look, I don't know who you hotshot fellas are, but I hope you can read that sign over there. It says 'You cannot b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle.

One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys. The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a...

Two attorneys went into a diner

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged the...

What do attorneys and sperm have in common?

1 out of 3 million has the potential to be a human being

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and shouts "Attorneys are assholes!"

Another guy at the bar walks up to him with a disgusted look on his face and says "I can't believe you just said that, that's one of the most offensive things I've ever heard." The first guy says "Oh I'm sorry, are you an attorney?" The second guy replies "No, I'm an asshole!"

Why are there no Irish attorneys?

None of them can pass the Bar.

My wife's parents are both attorneys.

I hate it when the at-laws come to visit.

Nguyen and Nguyen, Attorneys at Law

"It's always a win-win with us!"

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