This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s another name for eating a peacock’s ass?

Nom de plume.

What does a survivor of the Food Onomatopoeia war get?

Nom flashbacks.



I know I'm getting reported for this one, but you know you like them. Upvote this you cowards.

A few years ago my wife asked me if I'd seen the news story about a Moose walking into a lobby in Alaska. It sounded so much the first line of a joke that I figured I had to come up with something...

A moose walks into a hotel lobby in Alaska and starts eating the plants.

The hotel manager comes over and says, "Juneau, it's illegal to eat the foliage, don't you?"

The Moose looks at him calmly, still chewing, and says, "Nome, Nome, Nome."

Anyone want to help start a new conspiracy theory themed cafeteria style restaurant?

We’ll call it “Queue A Nom Nom”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Fisherman

Somewhere near a big lake lives Jon together with his cat.

Early in the morning Jon wakes up, washes his face and goes to the kitchen. He takes his bag of bread, takes out a few slices and butters them up. puts some cheese on it and stores them is his bread box. Picks up his fishing pole an...

When you take a pen name ....

... that's a nom de plume.

When you take a name for war, that's a nom de guerre.

When you take a name for an eating contest, that's a nom de om nom nom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a food advertisement wandering in the desert?

A Nom ad

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If ass tasted like cookies, would you be willing to eat ass?

Maybe, but you’d never be able to look the same way again at Cookie Monster.

A nom nom nom nom.

How did the gummy bear lose his leg?

He lost it in nom.

What religion were the dinosaurs?

Non de-nom nom denominational.

Sorry folks this is an original by me and so corny.

What cookbook do they use in hell?

The Necro nom nom nomicon.

What did Oedipus say when we went down on a girl?

Nom, mom, mom, mom.

Did you know there is a Hungry Hippo that was a US Military Veteran?

Yeah! He fought in VietNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM

Did you hear about the gummy bear with only one leg?

He lost the other one in Nom.

<all credit to my daughter>

What shape is Pac Man?

An om-nom-nom-ogon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What noise do you make when you eat Vietnamese food?

Nom Nom

My little brother just told me that joke. He's an asshole

Two sharks are swimming in the sea...

One shark sees a school of sardines, and says "bro you hungry?" and the other shark says "nah, I'm good. You go for it." So the first shark swims right into the sardines, and nom-nom-noms on hundreds of the little fishes. Minutes later, the shark curls up in pain. "Oooh, aaaagh, uuuurgh...." the sec...

What do you call French army rations?

Noms de guerre.

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can't sleep

It's called insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They asked Stephen King to write a horror story about a gorilla...

He told his publishers that he wanted to write it under his *nom de plume* "Richard Bachman." The problem, he said, was that he'd already written "The Monkey" under his own name. He didn't want people to think this new story was a sequel, or derivative in some way. Legally, since he'd sold the ri...

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

What is Cthulhu's favorite cookbook?

The NecroNomNomNom!

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

From a Latin FAQ

Q: In latin, when pairing foods with the verb **edo** ("I eat"), what case should you use?

A: The om-nom-nominative.

Why did the mission control operator tell the astronauts not to eat any food?

She saw some off-nom telemetry.

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