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Nom Jokes

Did you hear the Cookie Monster got Covid?

The CDC confirmed it was the om-nom-nom-nom-icron variant.




Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Edit 2: Thank you everyone for the awards. Just trying to brighten everyone's day with a little joke. I hope this joke spreads far and wide....like Covid. Stay safe everybody...

What's Cookie Monster's favourite Pink Floyd song?

Comfortably Nom nom nom nom.

When you take a pen name ....

... that's a nom de plume.

When you take a name for war, that's a nom de guerre.

When you take a name for an eating contest, that's a nom de om nom nom.

I’ve just found out there’s an actual clinical name for the condition where you can’t sleep and just eat instead

It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia

Word on the Street is, Cookie Monster has COVID…

It's the Om nom nom nomicron variant.

What country looked appetizing to Godzilla back in the 70s?

Viet Nom

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If ass tasted like cookies, would you be willing to eat ass?

Maybe, but you’d never be able to look the same way again at Cookie Monster.

A nom nom nom nom.

Did you know there is a Hungry Hippo that was a US Military Veteran?

Yeah! He fought in VietNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM

What religion were the dinosaurs?

Non de-nom nom denominational.

Sorry folks this is an original by me and so corny.

Anyone want to help start a new conspiracy theory themed cafeteria style restaurant?

We’ll call it “Queue A Nom Nom”

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time...

She is extremely nervous waiting for her turn. The doctor asks her to come in to the consultation room and to lie down, but the woman is still trembling with fear. The doctor starts the consultation and notices that the woman is still very uncomfortable, so he stops for a bit and asks the lady, "If ...

What cookbook do they use in hell?

The Necro nom nom nomicon.

What does a survivor of the Food Onomatopoeia war get?

Nom flashbacks.



I know I'm getting reported for this one, but you know you like them. Upvote this you cowards.

What shape is Pac Man?

An om-nom-nom-ogon

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

What is Cthulhu's favorite cookbook?

The NecroNomNomNom!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What noise do you make when you eat Vietnamese food?

Nom Nom

My little brother just told me that joke. He's an asshole

How did the gummy bear lose his leg?

He lost it in nom.

Two sharks are swimming in the sea...

One shark sees a school of sardines, and says "bro you hungry?" and the other shark says "nah, I'm good. You go for it." So the first shark swims right into the sardines, and nom-nom-noms on hundreds of the little fishes. Minutes later, the shark curls up in pain. "Oooh, aaaagh, uuuurgh...." the sec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a food advertisement wandering in the desert?

A Nom ad

What did Oedipus say when we went down on a girl?

Nom, mom, mom, mom.

A few years ago my wife asked me if I'd seen the news story about a Moose walking into a lobby in Alaska. It sounded so much the first line of a joke that I figured I had to come up with something...

A moose walks into a hotel lobby in Alaska and starts eating the plants.

The hotel manager comes over and says, "Juneau, it's illegal to eat the foliage, don't you?"

The Moose looks at him calmly, still chewing, and says, "Nome, Nome, Nome."

Did you hear about the gummy bear with only one leg?

He lost the other one in Nom.

<all credit to my daughter>

What do you call French army rations?

Noms de guerre.

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

Why did the mission control operator tell the astronauts not to eat any food?

She saw some off-nom telemetry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They asked Stephen King to write a horror story about a gorilla...

He told his publishers that he wanted to write it under his *nom de plume* "Richard Bachman." The problem, he said, was that he'd already written "The Monkey" under his own name. He didn't want people to think this new story was a sequel, or derivative in some way. Legally, since he'd sold the ri...

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