The 67+ Best Justice Jokes

Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?

Because they make teeth straight and white.

The US Supreme Court has changed dramatically since Justice Ginsberg passed away.

It has become Ruth less.

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Justice is a dish best served cold because...

...if it were served warm, it would be justwater.

I don't get why there are so many social justice warriors

Why don't people want to play as social justice mages or social justice rangers?

It's appropriate that Cyborg from the Justice League is black,

Considering that he's only 3/5 of a person.

What time does a social justice warrior get up in the morning?

It's hard to say, she's already woke.

Six Supreme Court justices, floating face-down in a river

All 6 conservative members of the SCOTUS got stranded in the woods with only a giant suitcase and a couple of paddles. Then they came to a raging river- it was fast-moving, wide and rocky but only waist deep. They began to bicker over how to get across. Kavanaugh, Thomas, and Gorsuch said "We are st...

Criminal justice in the dog world is harsh.

All you need to do is litter once and the next thing you know you’re getting fixed.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour driv...

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A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

In an upcoming movie, Peter Parker brings the founder of Theranos to justice

They are calling it: "Spiderman: No way, Holmes"

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Scale of Justice

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover ...

What's another name for rural class justice?

Lawn enforcement

In Zack Snyders Justice League, Barry Allen breaks a window simply by touching it.

This is because windows no longer supports Flash.

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A rapist and con artist get caught by the sheriff in a small town.

The town doesn’t have much money to take care of prisoners so the sheriff gets an idea. He decides he’ll charge money to let the townspeople punish the crooks and use the money to keep them in jail for as long as he can. The sheriff figures even a short stay in jail will be plenty after a little “ju...

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies ...

How many social justice warriors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just kidding, social justice warriors can't change anything.

Picking a Supreme Court Justice is a lot like crossing a river...

It all comes down to Roe v Wade

My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie...

I told her that she must have Amazon Prime

As a social justice warrior, you all offend me. I am going to cancel each and every one of you.

Starting with your netflix account.

Atheist Bus Driver

(Turkish Joke, couldn't find it on Reddit, hopefully the translation does justice)

So I met a guy in jail whose nickname was "Atheist". I finally asked him why everyone called him this way; so he started telling his story:

"Well, I was a bus driver in our village. One day while driving...

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly, the woman gathers courage to go ask him out. She walks over, takes a seat next to him, turns and says...

"Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure...but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were...

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There was a little old man who was in very good shape but noticed one morning that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis…

So he went to the beach, completely undressed and buried himself in the sand except for his penis.

Just then, two old ladies were strolling along the sand one walking with a cane. Upon seeing this thing sticking out of the sand she began to move it about with her cane, remarking to the other ...

The members of the newly-formed Justice League were introducing themselves to each other.

S: “I’m Superman; I can fly, move at super speed, and have super strength.”

B: “I’m Batman; I’m the world’s greatest detective, master of many martial arts, and have gadgets that can do almost anything.”

GL: “I’m Green Lantern; my emerald bling can create constructs of anything I can i...

A Man and a Gorilla Walk into a Bar

A man and a gorilla walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "What will it be?"

The man replies, "Beer for me, and ice for my friend here"

"Ice?" the bartender asks.

"Yes." He replied. "Justice for Harambe."

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Best joke I have heard in a few months... let's see if I can do it justice!

A guy enters a Halloween party just in his pants.

Guy 1: what are you dressed as?
Guy 2: I came as pre mature ejaculation!
Guy 1: okay? Why don't you have a shirt or shoes?
Guy 2: well, I just came in my pants!

US Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg died.

Clearly now people will see the court as completely Ruth-less.

Did you hear about that decision the Supreme Court handed down without Justice Ginsburg?

It was ruthless.

A District Court judge, a Circuit Court judge, and a Supreme Court justice are sitting at a bar

The District Court judge says, "I interpret the Constitution the way I read it."

The Circuit Court judge says, "I interpret the Constitution the way it's written."

The Supreme Court justice says, "The Constitution isn't anything, until I interpret it."

(original joke was three u...

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The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?

Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytim...

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My girlfriend is upset that there’s no female equivalent of a “justice boner.”

I think she’s suffering from subpoenas envy.

The US Justice Department were hellbent on taking IKEA to court a few years ago.

Unfortunately they had to walk away as they were having difficulties putting a case together.

I caught a bunch of social justice warriors in my yard digging up large wooden stakes

They said the posts had to be removed before they caused a fence.

The Soviet gulags were fairer than the US justice system!

Everyone in the USSR had an equal opportunity to go there whether they committed a crime or not, and that is *fair*!

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Justice is served

So Donald Trump is finally found guilty for all of his high crimes and misdemeanors. The very fine people of New York have won the privilege to decide his fate. Before his many years in prison the city had declared that, The Donald be put in stocks and chains on display in the middle of 5th Avenue. ...

How conservative will Amy Coney Barrett's decisions be as a Supreme Court Justice?

I don't know, ask her husband.

What do you call an undead soldier that fights for Social Justice?

A Wight Knight

Social Justice Warriors Favorite Sandwich:

Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon and Tomato

Donald Trump better not remove Justice Ginsberg from the supreme court.

that would be ruthless

Why are people in I.T. the worst kind of social justice warriors?

They are always asking you to check your privilege.

Eight of the Supreme Court justices, except for Ginsburg, went out on a killing spree, executing everyone they came across.....

... they were Ruthless

Epsteins victims were seeking justice

But were left hanging with Jefferys death.

Why are Social Justice Activists always warriors?

Because they don't have a high enough intelligence to be Social Justice Mages.

Justice has been served!

There's been some scumbag called Callum known as cal going round breaking in to people's houses near me for months, but the police can't catch him.
The weirdest thing about it all, is he was breaking into people's houses and ruining their washing machines by putting bricks in to them & turni...

What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice?

Awarewolf

Justice

The word of the day is "just."

"Just" is a fun word, because it can mean both "absolutely" and "barely."

Examples:

That's just fantastic.
-and-
That's just enough.

"Just" may also be used to regard something as fair or deserved.

The judgement was just.
-an...

Did you hear about the insomniac social justice activist?

He was woke af

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The Department of Justice has announced the approval of a merger between Reddit and a Hindu temple

This is anticipated to create $50 million of synergies in the karma industry.

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One day Superman is flying over the Justice League building...

and he looks down to see Wonder Woman sprawled out on her back, naked, tanning.

"Wow she is so hot, if only I can have a chance at that!" He exclaimed to himself. Suddenly a thought occurred to him...

"Wait, I am Superman! I can fly down there and have sex with her and fly off so fast ...

Criminal Justice is a lot like racial humor.

It’s the dark ones that get in trouble.

What’s the opposite of Social Justice Warrior?

A Status Quosader

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Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths?

Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.

Poetic Justice

Judge:

I find you guilty.
You are sentenced to ten years,
Take him away boys.

Prosecutor mutters, "Poetic Justice"

Why is everyone a social justice warrior ?

Couldn't they pick another class ? Like social justice mage or social justice hunter ?

Southern Justice

Starting a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, y...

Heavenly Justice

Once, there was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he would be on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture-perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds were in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a...

What do you call a dyslexic small town spinster who takes justice into her own hands?

A Village-Auntie

Three bulls

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know ...

At Justice League HQ

Batman: so what do you do ?

Moonman : I fight all the villains on the moon

Batman : but I’ve never heard of any villains on the moon

Moonman : that’s because I do my job

Batman: .......

Why did Plastic Man get kicked out of Justice League?

He was accused of rubbery

What's the difference between the Justice League reshoots and unlocking all the heroes in Battlefront 2?

One was only slightly cheaper than the other.

I saw justice in action today for the first time ever.

I went out for breakfast this morning with my girlfriend, saw a Jehovah’s Witness lock himself out of his own house. Kept ringing the bell.

Southern Justice

While traveling in unfamiliar territory, a lawyer ran a stop sign and got pulled over by a small town sheriff.

The lawyer thinks for a minute and decides that he can talk his way out of a ticket. After all, he assumes that he must be much better educated than the southern sheriff.

Th...

After watching social justice warrior's behaviour on YouTube. TIL: the old saying is true...

War doesn't determine who's on the right, only who's on the left.

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Hitler was the original Social Justice Warrior

Adolf Hitler is the story of a failed liberal art student who blamed it on ethnicities he deemed privileged.

Justice Scalia stated that he wants to be cremated after his death

Millions of women are meeting now to discuss if that's what is best for his body.

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