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Justice is a dish best served cold

Because if it was served warm, it would be justwater

Did you hear about that decision the Supreme Court handed down without Justice Ginsburg?

It was ruthless.

Epsteins victims were seeking justice

But were left hanging with Jefferys death.

Justice has been served [long, English humour]

Justice has been served!
There's been some scumbag called Carl going round breaking in to people's houses near me for months, but the police can't catch him. The weirdest thing about it all, is he was breaking into people's houses and ruining their washing machines by putting bricks in to them &a...

Donald Trump better not remove Justice Ginsberg from the supreme court.

that would be ruthless

Social Justice Warriors Favorite Sandwich:

Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon and Tomato

Eight of the Supreme Court justices, except for Ginsburg, went out on a killing spree, executing everyone they came across.....

... they were Ruthless

How many social justice warriors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just kidding, social justice warriors can't change anything.

I caught a bunch of social justice warriors in my yard digging up large wooden stakes

They said the posts had to be removed before they caused a fence.

Did you hear about the insomniac social justice activist?

He was woke af

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A rapist and con artist get caught by the sheriff in a small town.

The town doesn’t have much money to take care of prisoners so the sheriff gets an idea. He decides he’ll charge money to let the town's people punish the crooks and use the money to keep them in jail for as long as he can. The sheriff figures even a short stay in jail will be plenty after a little “...

What is justice Brett Kavanaugh’s first case?

Coors Light

Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?

Because they make teeth straight and white.

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The Department of Justice has announced the approval of a merger between Reddit and a Hindu temple

This is anticipated to create $50 million of synergies in the karma industry.

Did you hear about the judge who exposed himself during sentencing?

Apparently he wanted to meat out some justice.

My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie...

I told her that she must have Amazon Prime

It's appropriate that Cyborg from the Justice League is black,

Considering that he's only 3/5 of a person.

Criminal Justice is a lot like racial humor.

It’s the dark ones that get in trouble.

Picking a Supreme Court Justice is a lot like crossing a river...

It all comes down to Roe v Wade

The US Justice Department were hellbent on taking IKEA to court a few years ago.

Unfortunately they had to walk away as they were having difficulties putting a case together.

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Best joke I have heard in a few months... let's see if I can do it justice!

A guy enters a Halloween party just in his pants.

Guy 1: what are you dressed as?
Guy 2: I came as pre mature ejaculation!
Guy 1: okay? Why don't you have a shirt or shoes?
Guy 2: well, I just came in my pants!

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The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?


Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytim...

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Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies ...

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Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths?

Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.

What’s the opposite of Social Justice Warrior?

A Status Quosader

President Trump accidentally bumped into Chief Justice Roberts.

Trump: "Pardon me."

Roberts: "Well that is your absolute right."

Justice

The word of the day is "just."

"Just" is a fun word, because it can mean both "absolutely" and "barely."

Examples:

That's just fantastic.
-and-
That's just enough.

"Just" may also be used to regard something as fair or deserved.

The judgement was just.
-an...

Why are Social Justice Activists always warriors?

Because they don't have a high enough intelligence to be Social Justice Mages.

At Justice League HQ

Batman: so what do you do ?

Moonman : I fight all the villains on the moon

Batman : but I’ve never heard of any villains on the moon

Moonman : that’s because I do my job

Batman: .......

What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice?

Awarewolf

A man is on his death bed and he tells his wife fight never to fight with her in laws after his death.

He says otherwise every time she fights his body would turn in his grave. She agrees and he dies peacefully. The wife lives her life out and when dies is buried in the same cemetery. At the night she asks her neighbors have they seen her husband Bob.

The neighbors tell her there are like hund...

What's the difference between the Justice League reshoots and unlocking all the heroes in Battlefront 2?

One was only slightly cheaper than the other.

Why did Plastic Man get kicked out of Justice League?

He was accused of rubbery

I saw justice in action today for the first time ever.

I went out for breakfast this morning with my girlfriend, saw a Jehovah’s Witness lock himself out of his own house. Kept ringing the bell.

Why is everyone a social justice warrior ?

Couldn't they pick another class ? Like social justice mage or social justice hunter ?

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A popular joke in Nazi Germany

A Nazi Bigwig is on a diplomatic trip through Switzerland and notices a large government building. He asks his guide what agency it is.

The guide replies: "It's the head quarters of the marines"

The Nazi is surprised and laughs. "Why does Switzerland need a ministry of marines?"
...

What do you call a dyslexic small town spinster who takes justice into her own hands?

A Village-Auntie

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Scale of Justice

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover ...

Justice Scalia stated that he wants to be cremated after his death

Millions of women are meeting now to discuss if that's what is best for his body.

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My sister walked in and caught me masturbating. She called me a sick pervert.

I walked in and caught *her* masturbating. She called me a sick pervert.

There's no justice in this world.

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Superman flying around horny... (Dirty and Long)

One day Superman is flying around and he sees Wonder Woman sun tanning, butt naked and spread eagle on top of the justice league building. He thinks to himself, "I am fast as a speeding bullet, I can fly in, pump a few times, and be gone before Wonder Woman even knows what happened".

So as fa...

It was recently discovered that Hillary approached President Trump to ask if she could replace Justice Scalia after his death.

Trump replied, "That's perfectly fine with me so long as the undertaker is okay with it."

An unborn child was charged with a crime it didn't commit and sentenced to death

Both sides argued it was a miscarriage of justice.

Out of town trial

A lawyer tries a case out of town, accompanied by his corporate client. After the case is given to the jury, the lawyer and his client wait for the verdict, which doesn't come in for days. After the second day, the lawyer the tells his client to go home, and he'll let him know as soon as the verdict...

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A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to f...

Southern Justice

Starting a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, y...

Heavenly Justice

Once, there was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he would be on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture-perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds were in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a...

Poetic Justice

Judge:

I find you guilty.
You are sentenced to ten years,
Take him away boys.

Prosecutor mutters, "Poetic Justice"

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The White Knight and the Black Knight.

Note, this story was from Gigi Proietti, an Italian comedian who's from Rome, and I must say it loses a lot without the Roman accent and slang, but I'll try my best :D

The White Knight and the Black Knight.

So once there was this teacher, really passionate about his job, who always wan...

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Hitler was the original Social Justice Warrior

Adolf Hitler is the story of a failed liberal art student who blamed it on ethnicities he deemed privileged.

Southern Justice

While traveling in unfamiliar territory, a lawyer ran a stop sign and got pulled over by a small town sheriff.

The lawyer thinks for a minute and decides that he can talk his way out of a ticket. After all, he assumes that he must be much better educated than the southern sheriff.

Th...

The Social Justice League doesn't have a Batmobile

They have a tumbler.

Once upon a time in an old magical kingdom, there lived an young monk called Sam...

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral
singing. They trained, hours every day, refining
their voices and their art. Their song floated
down the mountainside, enriching the lives and
souls of the townspeople below

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th
birthday,...

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