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Astronomers Jokes

Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s Belt?

They view it as a waist of space.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day.

I'm sorry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do astronomers and queer-friendly Hollywood studios have in common?

They like to star gays.

How do astronomers organize a party?

They Planet!

What's an astronomers favorite food?

Mercurry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of supplements do bodybuilding astronomers use?

Ass-steroids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Astronomers detected radio signals from the same source 1.5 billion light years away.

And I can't get the fucking WiFi connection in my room

Pick up line for astronomers

Baby, the universe starts with "U" "N" "I"

Do you know why astronomers named the planet "Saturn?"

It just had a nice ring to it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hemorrhoids

Did you know that astronomers don’t get hemorrhoids?

They get ass-teroids.

Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?

for meatier showers.

So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party

They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet

A team of astronomers have been preparing for a meteor shower for weeks.

When the day of the spectacle came, onlookers looked up to the sky, but saw nothing different. When reporters confronted the head astronomer about this blunder, embarrassed, he responded "No comet."

I feel like the world really missed an opportunity by calling people that study the sky astronomers

They should’ve called them skyentists.

What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe?

Exoplanets

Thought that one up myself.

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