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Herschel Jokes

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An Asian man goes to rent a car, and the clerk sees the man's name is Herschel Leibowitz

The clerk asks him how an Asian man like himself got the name Herschel Leibowitz. He responds in a heavy accent "When I was going through immigration, we were in a line in the area where we give our names. The name of the man in front of me was Herschel Leibowitz. When they call for me to ask me ...

What's it called when Herschel Walker has diarrhea?

A Georgia runoff.

Two groups of rabbis were having an argument at a synagogue...

Rabbi Isaac said: "Fourteen other rabbis here agree with me, Rabbi Herschel, please just accept our position."

Rabbi Herschel begins to pray along with two other rabbis who take his side, when all of a sudden, a great booming voice says: "I am Adonai, the Lord, and Rabbi Herschel is right" an...

Reporter: Herschel Walker, what do you think of the latest abortion bill?

Herschel Walker: I think we should pay it.

What's the difference between Herschel Walker's kids and the Keystone XL Pipeline?

Herschel Walker supports the Keystone XL Pipeline.

Did you hear that Herschel Walker tried to run over some kids and was arrested attempted vehicular manslaughter

In fairness, there was a sign "Drive like your kids live here".

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An old Jewish man goes to his rabbi.

He says "Rabbi, I need your advice. My wife Sadie and I have been very happily married for 45 years. But as you know, I'm not quite as young as I used to be and lately I just can't get her to orgasm when we make love. I feel I am failing in my duties in marriage as man."

The rabbi thinks for ...

Herschel is down on his luck and flat broke after getting fired from his job.

He prays to God "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or my car will be repossessed".

Tomorrow comes, and Herschel doesn't win. He loses his car and prays to God again "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or I'll lose my house".

Tomorrow comes and Herschel does not win. He...

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A joke about my Jewish Uncle Herschel

My Uncle Hersch and Aunt Sophie were married for 60 years and were both in their 80's.

One night Hersch gets up to use the bathroom and forgets to put the seat down when he's done. An hour later Sophie gets up to do the same thing, and falls right in. Worse yet she gets completely stuck.
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The Astronomer

An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the
same lecture night after night.  He confided this state of mind to his
chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination.  The chauffeur
expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
     "I've got it!" sa...

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My uncle converted to Christianity

My uncles and I were out one day getting our bagels and gefilte fish and we noticed the placard. “$1,000 to convert!”

Well, being the shrewd mensches we are we decide one of us should go ahead and check. Uncle Hersch draws the short straw so he goes in.

We wait.

And wait.
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