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A joke about my Jewish Uncle Herschel

My Uncle Hersch and Aunt Sophie were married for 60 years and were both in their 80's.

One night Hersch gets up to use the bathroom and forgets to put the seat down when he's done. An hour later Sophie gets up to do the same thing, and falls right in. Worse yet she gets completely stuck.
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Herschel the Magnificent Jew

A sign at the theatre says: "Tonight, Herschel the Magnificent Jew - 8 o' clock". So the fella decides to go take in the show. At 8 o' clock, Herschel comes out in a dressing gown, takes it off and he is stark naked from head to foot. In between his legs is the biggest member you have ever seen. Her...

Herschel is down on his luck and flat broke after getting fired from his job.

He prays to God "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or my car will be repossessed".

Tomorrow comes, and Herschel doesn't win. He loses his car and prays to God again "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or I'll lose my house".

Tomorrow comes and Herschel does not win. He...

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My uncle converted to Christianity

My uncles and I were out one day getting our bagels and gefilte fish and we noticed the placard. “$1,000 to convert!”

Well, being the shrewd mensches we are we decide one of us should go ahead and check. Uncle Hersch draws the short straw so he goes in.

We wait.

And wait.
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The Astronomer

An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the
same lecture night after night.  He confided this state of mind to his
chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination.  The chauffeur
expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
     "I've got it!" sa...

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An old Jewish man goes to his rabbi.

He says "Rabbi, I need your advice. My wife Sadie and I have been very happily married for 45 years. But as you know, I'm not quite as young as I used to be and lately I just can't get her to orgasm when we make love. I feel I am failing in my duties in marriage as man."

The rabbi thinks for ...

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