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Asians Jokes

My boss fired me for making jokes about Asians again

It was the end of my Korea

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

COVID-19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

Why are Asians so good at Math?

Their dogs can't eat their homework.

I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers...

But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

Asians are like a box of chocolates...

They will kill your dog

I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

How do Asians make love?

First they dim sum lights

(Courtesy of my little brother)

Why can't Asians make white babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white

9/10 Asians have cataracts

The 10th one has a Mercedes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do asians call an elevator?

By pressing the button like everybody else.

What do asians say when they want to do it their way?

It’s my way or the Huawei.

The difference between racism and Asians?

Racism has many faces.

Why do Asians hate football?

Because they spend 13 hours a day making them.

Asians made the first ever edible glue.

Rice

Why do Asians prefer Sony?

Because it's a stereo type

What do rich, blind, Asians drive?

Cataracts

Did you know that over 50% of Asians have Cataracts?

The rest drive Rincolns.

Why do Mexican Vampires prefer Asians who have ticks?

They want that Corona and Lyme

A man enters a bar only for Asians...

The bouncer asks "What kind of Asian are you?"

The man answers "I am Caucasian"

Why do asians hate arguing with me

Because I’m white and they’re always wong

Why don’t Asians get cataracts?

They rike rexuses

Puberty doesn't hit asians

Their parents do.

What happens to Asians when they become American citizens?

They get very disoriented.

Have you heard about the controversy regarding asians westernizing their surnames?

Honestly, it’s hard to know who’s White or Wong.

Which video game is asians favourite?

For Honor

All these jokes about Asians not being able to last...

Just take a look at Vietnam. It was the French you pulled out first and then the Americans that left. Only Vietnamese still stayed.

How do you know if you've been burglarized by Asians?

1) Your cat is missing.

2) Someone did all your math homework while you were away.

3) They are still trying to back out of your driveway when you get home.

There are two kinds of Asians...

The kind you see drifting in Tokyo Drift, and the other you see drifting around roundabouts.

What do gamers and Asians in ‘the office’ have in common

They both hate Ping







Sorry if you don’t watch the office

When do Asians gain the most weight?

When their dog dies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do asians have small boobs?

Because only A's are acceptable!!!

TIL Asians regularly eat insects

I heard they love lice

All the Asians who’ve been wearing face masks are laughing now

I assume

To the guy with the friend who dates Asians....

Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?

My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world...

Me: There are asian gangs too
My mom: And they're called study groups!

Americans, Asians & Mexicans

What do you call Americans pushing a car up the hill?

A: White Power.

What do you call Asians pushing a car up the hill?

A: Asian Power.

What do you call Mexicans pushing a car up the hill?

A: Grand Theft Auto.

Why don't Asians like bowling

Because it's bowring

I'm sorry

Why do asians squint all the time?

Because nukes are so bright

Breaking up with Asians is so hard.

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.

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