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Mexicans Jokes

Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?

Because the sign says No Tres passing

If Trump wins the election, Mexicans be like..

[removed]

How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans?

Juan by Juan.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Juan

What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.





...I'll see myself out.

How many Mexicans?

How many Mexicans does it take to...

Holy sh\*\* they're already done.

What do Mexicans think about Trumps wall?

They'll get over it.

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States...

Wandering aimlessly and starving, They are about to lie down and accept their death when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune,...

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

quatro sinko

Why can't you play UNO with Mexicans?

They'll steal all of the green cards.

3 Mexicans tried to cross the border,but only 2 got through.Why?

There was a sign that said no tres passing.

Why are Mexicans such prolific writers?

Because they finish every sentence with an essay.

Trump hates saying "yes" to Mexicans so much

We may as well call him the "Not Si" President

What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans?

Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans.

Why don't you ever see three mexicans crossing the border at the same time?

Because the signs say "No trespassing"

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball together?

Juan on Juan

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."

The entire crew of the ...

What do Mexicans call a Catholic handgun?

Epistle

Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed

I'm sure they'll soon get over it

what's a Mexicans favourite type of joke?

Juan liners

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

All Mexicans are yes men

Si what I mean?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 1st day at school: the new student named Jose Armando, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 5th grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Jose, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Jose :"Abraham Lincoln, 1863....

What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?

Cross country

What day of the week do Mexicans play D&D?

THAC0 Tuesday

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Texas, close to the border with Mexico, there was a priest who hated Mexicans

That Sunday, after reading the Bible, the priest started his sermon:

"Today we'll reflect on Peter's lie about being a follower of Jesus. That night, Peter acted as a coward and a liar, just like these damn Mexicans we see every day in this town!"

The whole congregation started to shou...

Why do male, Mexicans get better jobs out of college?

Because they can apply for señor positions.

I was going to smoke a joint with some Mexicans

But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off.

What’s a Mexicans favorite band?

Hispanic at the Disco!

The largest condom factory in the States burned down.

President Trump was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of ...

Mexicans and mayonnaise

Most people don't know that in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to have been the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would h...

What's a Mexicans favorite book?

Tequila mocking bird

Why aren't Mexicans ever indecisive?

Because if they're on the fence too long they get caught.

What did the cannibal say to 2 Mexicans?

I thought I'd eat both of you but I only have room for Juan

Some say that Mexicans are bordering on the insane...

But so what? So are Canadians.

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