Brits Jokes

We’ll return him back to you.

I'd have 4 bob, 6 shillings, 2 quid, a crown, a sovereign, and 5 thripince.

A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:

“What is this queue for?”

“Just for fun” says the women.

“But what if I don’t want to stand in the queue?” The Brit asks.

To which the woman replies “that’s w... read more

Surely 240 years of being officially separate from America is something to be happy about.

None. They just move out of the house.

Because they drank the T

Because the camera puts on 10 pounds.

An American dropped into a pub in London for a drink and found it completely full of Brits. After a few minutes, he saw a table for two with one middle-aged gentleman sitting at it. He walked over to the table and asked if he could sit down. The Brit replied, "Certainly. Please do."

The Ameri... read more

knock knock blokes.

Because the queen never dies

To dissolve the sugar

Because they measure their wealth in pounds

Bottoms up.

..British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, a team of American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 fe... read more

They were so worried about immigrants ruining their economy than they preempted it by doing it themselves.

"Fred...", whispers the businessman, "I have to tell you something..."

"What is it, John? You can tell me everything.", says Fred.

"You know, that trade we were making with the Italians, the package we were delivering; Fred, I didn't deliver it, I kept it for myself... I kept 500 dolla... read more

What did the Brit say when he paid 2,000 pounds for his fridge?

"Goodness gracious, that costs a ton!"

Made by me:)

Remember Bill and Ben, The Flowerpot Men?

One day, Bill says to Ben, "Flobadobglibglobbloobleglob!"

And Ben say, "If you loved me, you'd swallow that....."

Brits think 200 miles is a long distance,

Americans think 200 years is a long time.

Otherwise they'd be renting bathrooms during combat.

None they just terminate their apartment contract.

I was the only thing between H and JK

That's what you get when Donald Trump says you made the right choice.

In heaven, the Brits are the police, the Germans are mechanics and the French are cooks.

In hell, the Germans are the police, the French are the mechanics and the Brits are the cooks.

With such a long waiting list in the NHS, these Brits have the audacity to criticize the american healthcare..