UPJOKE
easterneast asiawestern worldlatin languagesoutheast asiakoreaasiacuisineoccidentalancientlevantasianfolkloriceastern worldlevantine

Oriental Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Oriental man was sitting in a restaurant in Chinatown when a Jew suddenly came up and tipped a bowl of fried rice over his head.

"That's for Pearl Harbour" , said the Jew.
"But I'm Chinese", cried the man. The Jew was unrepentant. "Chinese, Siamese, Japanese, you're all the same!" At this, the Chinaman picked up his plate of sweet and sour chicken and threw it over the Jew.
"That's for sinking the Titanic", shouted the...

How often does an oriental farmer milk his cows?

Dairy

If you spun an Oriental guy around and round...

Would he become _disoriented?_

Why can't an Oriental couple have a Caucasian child?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Girl you are like a fine oriental rug...

...you'd look great on hardwood.

What happens if you spin an oriental person around really fast for an extended period of time?

They become disoriented.

I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar.

Could be a Chinese Wispa.

If I ever become a DJ, my name will be DJ Oriental Immigrant

Because I lay down sick tracks

So I released a new cook book in the oriental side of town.

It's called *101 ways to wok your dog*

What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old cowboy is sitting at a bar next to a young Japanese man

An old cowboy is sitting at a bar next to a young Japanese man.

The cowboy turns to the Japanese man, scowling and grunts "Hey kid, do you know King Fu or Jiu Jitsu or somewhat?

Severely offended the Japanese man says, "Just because I'm 'Oriental' doesn't mean I know Martial Arts."...

What are the three "O"s of bad driving?

Old.

Oriental.

Ovaries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The pickup line of Cecil the cavalier

Cecil is a young British aristocrat who loves horse-riding but is terribly shy.

On his daily trot around Hyde Park, he frequently sees a beautiful girl riding a jet-black Morgan horse but can’t pluck up the courage to approach her.

One evening he’s having a beer with his friend Charles...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby Delivery

A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Madam, have you ever slept with a black man?"

"Well, yes, but only once."
"Once is all it takes" he replied.


Then the torso came out and it was ye...

Trying out a new restaurant...

A new oriental restaurant opened down the road from my house a few weeks ago, so last Friday I thought I'd go and try it out. As I arrive, I'm served promptly, and the waiter sits me next to a couple. As the waiter hands me my menu, I look to see what the couple next to me are eating. Nothing looked...

An Italian, An Irishman and a Chinese fellow.

Hopefully not posted earlier.

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.” He then jabs a thin finger at the Irishman, “You’re in charge of digging.” Fina...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's.

One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.


The second dog turned to him and asked, "What are you in here for, buddy?"


"I'm in big trouble," he said. "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Insults

She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

Look's like she's been dunking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than Sooty!

She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

S...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.