UPJOKE
manchurianorth koreakorean languagesouth koreakoreakorean peninsulahanjakoreans in chinakorean americanspeninsulabuddhismchinaethnic groupkorean warseoul

Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by their government and the media.

But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

I always feel nervous when talking to Koreans.

Everytime I say hello, they always tell me that onions are on sale.

Say what you will about North Koreans

No seriously, they’re not allowed on this site.

TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts.

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

Why aren't there many North Koreans in the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, swim, or jump is in South Korea

Why are North Koreans always left handed?

Because they have no rights.

Why don't North Koreans go to heaven?

because they have no Seoul

Why do North Koreans only sell one size of drink?

Because they have a Supreme Liter.

What do South Koreans call their spouses?

Seoulmates

Why do Koreans have so many popular things?

Aren't they afraid of fans?

What is a south Koreans favorite fruit?

An impeach.

Why don't north Koreans listen to funk?

Cos they've got no Seoul!

Thank you very much.

My wife is Korean

She's my Seoul-mate

Why are North Koreans required to give their books to Kim Jong-un?

Because he is their Supreme Reader

North Koreans are huge Dark Souls fans

They spend all their time praisin' the son.

How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A hundred thousand. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest for holding the parade.

Two South Koreans fell in love with each other...

you might say they found their Seoul mates

The Koreans were printing with movable type in 1403.

I was in 1402 and the noise kept me awake all night.

- from MASH

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the Korean War

My grandfather was deployed to South Korea when North Korea attacked. He was, by all accounts, a terrible gunner. He struggled to hit enemy tanks and even if his shell did hit, as if some curse was upon him, the shell would either be a dud or fail to pierce through the enemy's armour. Despite this, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar

The Asian man goes: “Hi, my name is Joe Chan, what’s yours?”

The Jew replies: “Michael Goldberg... Hey you know, I never did forget you Koreans for Pearl Harbor.”

The Asian man, surprised, replies:
“Uhhh... Pearl Harbor was done by the Japanese, not Koreans, and I’m Chinese.”
...

North Koreans said the Kim Jong Un has read all the books in the world.

That's why they call him their supreme reader

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