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Europeans Jokes

What do Europeans facing high gas prices and Russian men have in common?

They both fear a draft

To all the Europeans suffering from the current heat wave, here is a reminder to stay strong.

Your ancestors colonized entire countries in much higher temperatures.

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We’ll take the aliens, you get the predators

100 is a nice round number

The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?

The American: 100, of course

The European: 100? Why not 62, or 37?

The American: 62? What are you talking about? It's 100. Of course, it is. It's a nice round number and easy to calcula...

Europeans announced they were going to increase penalties for driving with excessive speed and being late for work.

Its part of their sanctions package to target people who are Russian.

Today its finally Europeans time to celebrate!

Happy 9/11 guys!

What side of the earth were Europeans best at exploring?

Genocide

Do europeans have a foot fetish?

No, they have a centimeter fetish..

You know the difference between Americans and Europeans? .

Europeans think 100 miles is a long distance.

Americans think 100 years is a long time.

Did you know you can't tell Europeans to smile?

You can only tell them to Skilometer.

The Native Americans were surprised to be colonised by Europeans

No one expects the Spanish Acquisition

How do Europeans charge their phones?

With EUB cables

The UN recently published the results of a poll. The topic was: "Please truthfully give your opinion on food shortage in the rest of the world."

Results:

Europeans requested explanation of the term "shortage".

Africans asked what "food" is.

Chinese inquired about the term "opinion".

Americans wondered what "rest of the world" might possibly mean.

And in Italy they are still discussing the meaning of the ter...

Why do Northern Europeans never get stuff done late

They’re already Finished

Europeans have been testing aircraft engines against bird strikes for a long while, using a cannon which launched (deceased, obviously) chickens at the aeroplane.

Eventually, the Americans decided they needed to test their engines tbe same way. So they brought a device over and started testing. No matter how resilient they made the engines, they always failed. After months of testing, they gave up and sent for a European engineer to advise on what wad wrong.<...

Do all Europeans countries drive on the right?

No, the Brits left.

Where do Europeans go for slurpies?

11/7

Europeans revere the art of cheesemaking.

But Swiss cheese is holy.

Apparently 1 out of every 10 Europeans were conceived on an IKEA bed...

Which is crazy when you consider how well lit those places are.

Did all Europeans give Native Americans smallpox on purpose?

Or is that a blanket statement?

Europeans did promise land and peace for the natives. They didn't get what they wanted but what can you expect?

They were just white lies after all.

Four Europeans and a Juggler

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling.

The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes."
"Oui....

Heaven vs Hell : The Europeans Version

In heaven the police are British, the cooks are French, the engineers are German, the administrators are Swiss and the lovers are Italian

In Hell the police are German, the cooks are British, the engineers are Italian, the administrators are French and the lovers are Swiss

How do you test if two Central Europeans can hear you?

Czech 1, Chez 2

Why do Europeans never win the most gold in water sports?

All their best divers are playing football.

Europeans use too many gyros for the slaughter of animals. Let's alert PITA.

That was a terrible pun. I falafel.

I'm making deer nachos for dinner tonight because it's the most American meal I could think of

The corn and deer were here to begin with, Europeans just brought the cheese and a Mexican did all the work anyway.

Three Europeans wash ashore on an island occupied by cannibals...

They are caught quickly, and the cannibal chief tells them that they are to be eaten and their skins used to make canoes. They are horrified at the thought of being cooked or eaten alive, but at least a little of their fear is relieved when the chief tells them that they will be permitted to kill th...

Why don't Europeans have foot fetishes?

they use the metric system

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