If a knight in Prague dons his armour

Does that mean the czech is in the mail!?

The best armour for sneaking is leather armour

Because it’s made of hide

I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armour....

Actually it's probably more of a Knight Mare

What do you call armour made for women?

She-mail.

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides.

The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

The kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it's a valuab...

What does an assassin use to make his armour?

Hide

Why do The Brit’s still use ‘u’ in words like “colour” and “armour”?

Because Rick Astley is British.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was planning to go out one Saturday night...

...and I wanted to look my best, so the day before I wrote myself a reminder: iron shirt.

Come Saturday, I'd totally forgotten what that note meant.

Anyway, long story short, I looked fantastic when I hit the town in a suit of armour.

A wave of crime is sweeping Metropolis. Superman is helpless to stop the instigator, a code-breaking enthusiast dressed in full plate armour.

Can no one save us from the Crypto-Knight?

I really excel at dressing up in armour

It's my strongest suit

The other day I told a joke about an armoured vehicle with a rotating gun turret.

It tanked.

The other day, Iron Man broke his leg in his unbreakable armour.

So much ironknee

What does an Irishman say when you give him two heavily armoured vehicles for Christmas?

Tanks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know why I offended the Asian man wearing a damaged bulletproof vest...

...all I said was "There's a chink in the armour."

What's a thief's favorite type of armour?

Steel armour

Why is leather armour best for sneaking?

It's made of hide.

^^^^^I'm ^^^^^sorry

x-post from /r/Showerthoughts. [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3iruvv/leather_armour_is_the_best_for_sneaking_because/)

Why is French body armour so cheap?

They only need it for their back

No one believes seniors...

No one believes seniors… Everyone thinks they are senile

An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It w...

What kind of athletic garments do knights wear beneath their suits?

Under Armour

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think we all know King Arthurs knights

But, there were also others, who choose to stay in the background, but played a huge part.

First, and formost, the guy who made the round table. Sir Confarence

On second place, there was a knight, who sadly lost his life before he was publicly dubbed, saving king Arthur in a surprise r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The American President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. President!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!'

'Well, Paddy,' the president replied, 'How big is your army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three kingdoms lay on a triangle lake

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this story telling and legal battling came to no conclusion...

There was once a land, far away, and many years ago, that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake.

There was once a land far away and many years ago that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake. They often warred and casualties were fierce. So they agreed to hold a tournament of all their champions on an island in the middle of the lake. The first being rich and influential sent twenty Knight...

A soldier walks into his commanding officers tent

A soldier walks into his commanding officers tent and asks “Sir, I’ve lost my rifle, What do I have to do to get another” The Commanding officer says “Well if that’s the case we will take the 700 pounds out of your pay check to purchase a new one” the officer turns around to fill out the paper work ...

And de moral of de story is...

De purple knight was in his purple bedroom dreaming purple dreams. With the rising of de purple sun came a new purple day.

A purple messenger knocked on de purple knights purple front door. De purple knight donned his purple robes and descended de purple stairs, got de purple keys and opened...

A British man

A British man asks and American,

“Why don’t you spell colour, armour, or flavour the same way as we do?”

The American replied,

“We got rid of u in 1776.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the Korean War

My grandfather was deployed to South Korea when North Korea attacked. He was, by all accounts, a terrible gunner. He struggled to hit enemy tanks and even if his shell did hit, as if some curse was upon him, the shell would either be a dud or fail to pierce through the enemy's armour. Despite this, ...

I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.

She always wanted a night in, shining armour.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good old Newfies. Newfoundland, Canada declares war on the U.S.A.

President Trump was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Trump, " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ‘ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Arc...

BDSM while being dressed as a Knight

BDSM while being dressed as a Knight is my absolute weakness.

You can say that it is a Kink in my Armour.

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