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Spelt Jokes

Why is dark spelt with a 'k' and not a 'c'?

Because you can't 'c' in the dark

Racecar spelt backwards is still racecar

But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died

Did you know that 'Muffins' spelt backwards...

...is what you do, when you take them out of the oven ?

Why is Dark spelt with a “K” and not “C” at the end?

Because you cannot C in the dark

why is Haiti spelt without an e?

Simply because, they hate e

The word "cyclops" should be spelt "ciclops".

Just so that it has one "I".

Potato is spelt wrong.

If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau

The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

Coffee spelt backwards is 'eeffoc'....

And until I have had my coffee, I don't give 'eeffoc'.

I will never understand why it's spelt "John Cena"...

...and not " "

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The Word Election and Erection Are Spelt Similarly. They also have the same meaning

A dick rising to power!

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The teacher walked into the classroom

and gave her fifth grade class a challenge to spell any 12 letter word. One kid raised his hand and the teacher called on him. "M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N," he spelt. The whole class laughed and the teacher was quite taken aback, but nevertheless congratulated him as it was a 12 letter word and he did ...

This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee.

I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".

I didn't bother leaving a tip.

What's long, hard and bendable and spelt using th letters P-E-N-I-S?

Your spine.

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How do you comfort a grammer nazi?

Pat them on the back and say ‘there, they’re, their.’

How do you pronounce oddly spelt Welsh words?

Caerphilly

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I bought a Ouija board recently from a strange old man...

I got it home, laid out the pieces and before I could even ask it a question the planchette started to move around, it eventually spelt

I'VE GOT A MESSAGE TO YOU


'What is your message?' I asked.

YOU SHOULD BE DANCING

Fear started flushing over me, 'Why s...

Why do Americans spell it as "color", when it is spelt "colour" everywhere else?

Because the Americans don't care about "U".

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An Irish radio station was running a competition

Words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”

Caller: “Hi, my name’s Dave.”

DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”

Caller: “Goan... spelt G-O-A-N p...

Enola Holmes : my mother named me Enola because its Alone spelt backwards and she loves being alone

Lana : I don't like where this is going!!

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

A British man goes to visit his granny, who recently moved to Greece

When he takes his coat off he notices she doesn't have any. "We need to go buy you a coat granny."

"You don't need a coat in Greece, dear."

He takes his shoes off and notices she also doesn't have any wellies. "We need to get you some wellies granny."

"You don't need wellies in ...

A first grade teacher was giving a cookie to each student who spelt a word right

"Well little John" she said. "Can you spell Pig?"

"P-I-G" John said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then went to the next student.

"Hi little Susan" she said. "Can you spell Cow?"

"C-O-W" Susan said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher s...

Late one night, Jack takes a shortcut through a cemetery.

Hearing a tapping sound he becomes scared and quickens his pace. The tapping gets louder and Jack is now scared out of his
wits. Then he notices a man chiselling
a tombstone. "Thank goodness!" Jack says to the man. "You gave me a fright of my life. Why are you working so
late?"
"They spe...

I always wondered why there were two different ways to spell Whiskey / Whisky.

Having been to Dublin, I now realise it's because the Irish like to drop an E in their drinks.

We had a reverse name day in school today

We had to refer to eachother by our names spelt backwards.

And now I hate my parents for calling me Lana

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I read in my local paper this morning about some guy who got caught having sex with a sheep.

I had to read it twice, couldn't believe they spelt my name wrong.

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It was a dark night in the cemetery..

..and Eric had, unwisely, elected to take a short cut. The leaves rustled in the trees, the shadows appeared to move around him, and then.. and then.. tap, tap, tap. Eric started to walk faster but the tapping was only getting louder. Eric grew scared, really scared, until he rounded a big old grave...

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A dung Beatle walks into a bar and asks

Is this stool taken?

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A man walking home late one night from the pub..

Decides to take a shortcut through the cemetery. He’s walking through then starts hearing a tapping noise. He gets a little scared and speeds up but the tapping seems to get louder and closer so he starts running and dodging around gravestones but the tapping gets louder.

He runs round a larg...

Why doth Abraham not bringeth his grain to the spelling bee?

For it was already spelt.

A woman had 20 children

A woman had 20 children. 10 girls 10 boys, all of their names were leroy. Boys spelt Leroy girls spelt Leroigh. She met a man one day and told him how many children she had and what their names were. " why did you name all of your children Leroy/Leroigh?" The man asked. "It's easy to call them all t...

I was driving by a Thai massage place with my friend...

He glanced over at the place and laughed, I asked him what was so funny and he told me

“Hah, they spelt “Thigh” wrong”

My classmates and I were discussing how difficult the last physics exam was.

"The highest grade was like a 65."
"Dude, I made a 15 on it."
"I did all I could, and I still made a 0."
I scoffed at them,"I got a -4."
"How TF is that even possible?"
I sighed,"Spelt my name wrong."

How do you know if a person has class ?

Their tattoos are spelt correctly.

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The end is nye

Fun fact; you know the saying The end is nigh? Well the latin origin of the word nigh use to be spelt: n y e.

Another fun fact; nye can be an abbreviation of New Year Eve.

Anyways what's your guys' new year's resolution? Mine is to stop making shit up for small talk.

A bomb was found in a tin of Alphabet Spaghetti at Wal-Mart today.

A spokesman told the press"We're lucky we found it when we did. If that had gone off it could have spelt disaster."

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So my daughter was just doing her spelling words

So my daughter was just doing her spelling words and she spelt ‘country’ as ‘cunt tree’ , and I thought to myself ‘gee, I wish I had one of those’.

This isn’t a joke, it actually just happened, but thought you’d get a laugh out of it.

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