"apparently your name spelt backwards is how you'll die"

**Lana:** oh no

What's long, hard and bendable and spelt using th letters P-E-N-I-S?

Your spine.

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like Warsaw spelt backwards?

Cause it was raW!

Enola Holmes : my mother named me Enola because its Alone spelt backwards and she loves being alone

Lana : I don't like where this is going!!

Why do Americans spell it as "color", when it is spelt "colour" everywhere else?

Because the Americans don't care about "U".

Why is dark spelt with a k and not a c ?

Because you can’t C in the dark

Why is 'DARK' spelt with a 'K' and not a 'C'

Because you can't see in the dark.

I always wondered why there were two different ways to spell Whiskey / Whisky.

Having been to Dublin, I now realise it's because the Irish like to drop an E in their drinks.

Racecar spelt backwards is still racecar

But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Word Election and Erection Are Spelt Similarly. They also have the same meaning

A dick rising to power!

Potato is spelt wrong.

If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau

The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

How do you pronounce oddly spelt Welsh words?

Caerphilly

A first grade teacher was giving a cookie to each student who spelt a word right

"Well little John" she said. "Can you spell Pig?"

"P-I-G" John said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then went to the next student.

"Hi little Susan" she said. "Can you spell Cow?"

"C-O-W" Susan said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher s...

Why doth Abraham not bringeth his grain to the spelling bee?

For it was already spelt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dung Beatle walks into a bar and asks

Is this stool taken?

I was driving by a Thai massage place with my friend...

He glanced over at the place and laughed, I asked him what was so funny and he told me

“Hah, they spelt “Thigh” wrong”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher walked into the classroom

and gave her fifth grade class a challenge to spell any 12 letter word. One kid raised his hand and the teacher called on him. "M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N," he spelt. The whole class laughed and the teacher was quite taken aback, but nevertheless congratulated him as it was a 12 letter word and he did ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A radio station

ran a contest for listeners to pick English words that are no longer in use but should be brought back. A caller called...


Hi, my name is Dave


Hi Dave. What's your word?


Goan, spelt G O A N


Ok it's not in the dictionary. How do we use this?


Goan...

My classmates and I were discussing how difficult the last physics exam was.

"The highest grade was like a 65."
"Dude, I made a 15 on it."
"I did all I could, and I still made a 0."
I scoffed at them,"I got a -4."
"How TF is that even possible?"
I sighed,"Spelt my name wrong."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a Ouija board recently from a strange old man...

I got it home, laid out the pieces and before I could even ask it a question the planchette started to move around, it eventually spelt

I'VE GOT A MESSAGE TO YOU


'What is your message?' I asked.

YOU SHOULD BE DANCING

Fear started flushing over me, 'Why s...

This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee.

I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".

I didn't bother leaving a tip.

When it comes to the DCU, Mr. Freeze truely was the superhero.

I mean, justice can't be spelt without "Just ice".

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The end is nye

Fun fact; you know the saying The end is nigh? Well the latin origin of the word nigh use to be spelt: n y e.

Another fun fact; nye can be an abbreviation of New Year Eve.

Anyways what's your guys' new year's resolution? Mine is to stop making shit up for small talk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A radio station was running a competition – words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali...

DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”

Caller: “Hi, my name’s Dave.”

DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”

Caller: “Goan... spelt G-O-A-N.”

DJ: “You are correct, Dave, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make se...

A woman had 20 children

A woman had 20 children. 10 girls 10 boys, all of their names were leroy. Boys spelt Leroy girls spelt Leroigh. She met a man one day and told him how many children she had and what their names were. " why did you name all of your children Leroy/Leroigh?" The man asked. "It's easy to call them all t...

How do you know if a person has class ?

Their tattoos are spelt correctly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my daughter was just doing her spelling words

So my daughter was just doing her spelling words and she spelt ‘country’ as ‘cunt tree’ , and I thought to myself ‘gee, I wish I had one of those’.

This isn’t a joke, it actually just happened, but thought you’d get a laugh out of it.

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