UPJOKE

One Armed Jokes

I was talking via sign language with a one armed man…

Problem is I was only getting half of what he was saying.


Thought this up yesterday on a camping trip when my daughter was showing me what she learned at preschool.

I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It's shift work.

I got served by a one armed waiter the other day

You have to hand it to him

One armed drummer tells a dad joke,

Badum...

What is it called when a one armed person waves at you?

Jazz hand

One armed butlers...

They can take it but they can't dish it out.

Saw a one armed man shopping in a second hand store.

I told him, you’re not going to find what you’re looking for.

I need to find a one armed lawyer...

I’m tired of them saying “On the one hand” and then “On the other hand.”

I ran into a one armed fisherman

I asked if he had any luck. He said "yea caught one this big"


This joke works better in person.

In a world with no weapons, the one armed man . . .

Could still have a better punchline than this.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I performed for a one armed man..

He was a right miserable bastard. Seriously. I threw my absolute best at him and the fucker still wouldn't clap.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had lost one of his arms in an accident.

One day he felt terribly depressed and decided to commit suicide. He got into an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't hav...

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