I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It's shift work.

I got served by a one armed waiter the other day

You have to hand it to him

What is it called when a one armed person waves at you?

Jazz hand

One armed drummer tells a dad joke,

Badum...

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

Wave to him!

Saw a one armed man shopping in a second hand store.

I told him, you’re not going to find what you’re looking for.

How did the one armed man say grace?

Rub a dub dub, thanks for for the nub.

In a world with no weapons, the one armed man . . .

Could still have a better punchline than this.

I need to find a one armed lawyer...

I’m tired of them saying “On the one hand” and then “On the other hand.”

One armed butlers...

They can take it but they can't dish it out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I performed for a one armed man..

He was a right miserable bastard. Seriously. I threw my absolute best at him and the fucker still wouldn't clap.

I ran into a one armed fisherman

I asked if he had any luck. He said "yea caught one this big"


This joke works better in person.

Did you know Francis was not the first choice to become the new Pope?

Actually it was a lesser know man, Cardinal Herzenbacher.
He'd been a man of God from an early age, a pacifist all his life. When WWII broke out, he was conscripted and forced to fight, and so became a bomber pilot.
A few months into the war he was shot down but survived, miraculously only l...

What is the definition of pain?

A one armed man hanging off a cliff with an itchy bum.

Two armed men walk into a bar...

Occasionally a one armed man will also walk into a bar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had lost one of his arms in an accident.

One day he felt terribly depressed and decided to commit suicide. He got into an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't hav...

A nun walks into a bar

She bought everyone drinks all night. She told hilarious jokes and even did a one armed handstand while chugging a beer.
She was the best . . . bar nun.

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