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There were two statues in a park, one of a naked man, and one of a naked woman. They had been facing each other for a hundred years across a pathway, when one day an angel comes down, and with a single gesture brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits pati...

What do you call the worldā€™s most perfect shrubbery?

Utopiary

I don't understand why people think money grows on trees when clearly, it actually grows on shrubbery.

That's where hedge funds come from!

What do you call someone who buys up the garden store's entire stock of shrubbery?

A hedgehog!

What do you get when you cross a shrubbery with a pig?

A hedgehog!

A Well-Argued Court Case

The beauty of a language and the art of constructing the words of the language significantly lead to their meaning. This is not a case of twisting, but of the refined manner of presentation by witty minds. A good case for reference.

One evening, after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were...

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Two statues

There are two statues in the park, 9 feet (3 meters) apart. A handsome young man and a beautiful young woman, staring into each otherā€™s eyes in love, but helpless to move to fulfill their shared desire.

One day a benevolent wizard is walking through the park and sees them. Filled with pit...

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[OC] One day I went waterfowl hunting...

As I sat still in my boat, I quietly scanned the area. I heard a rustling in the bushes along the shore. As I looked over to where I heard the noise, I saw two beautiful Mallards step out of from the cover of the shrubbery. As they were walking they stopped briefly and started pooping. I knew this w...

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A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane.

They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and...

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Presidential Race

No one voted in the presidential election because everyone was so upset with the shit show. While trying to figure out what to do, Obama suggests an actual presidential race around the white house. They let bernie sanders run but since he's old he takes 24 mins. Trump goes and gets a time of 14:36. ...

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Two statues

Two statues, a boy and a girl, had been on display in the city park for over 50 years. Then came a day when an angel descended from the heavens and began talking to the statues, saying that they had brought happiness to the residents for many years and that the angel would grant them the greatest g...

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Three men arrive at heavenā€¦

Prior to entering they must each tell their story separately on how they died as the greeter of the gates likes to hear the stories, good or bad. The first man proceeds to tell his story.

ā€œ I arrived home from work early because Iā€™ve had the suspicion that my wife has been cheating on me. As ...

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A man offers $200 for sex on Craigslist.

A financially struggling woman responds and accepts the arrangement. However, after the act is completed, the man refuses to pay her the full amount and only gives her $100. She threatens to sue him in small claims but the man laughs at her and leaves.

A few weeks later, he's summoned to co...

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