UPJOKE
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I just saw a customer rob an Apple store.

Strange. It’s usually the other way around.

If you see a robbery in an Apple store,

Does that make you an iWitness?

What do you call a person who saw an apple store getting robed?

An iWitness.

If you watch an Apple store get robbed,

Does that make you an iWitness?

Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store?

For the watch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once farted in the Apple Store and everybody got pissed

It's not my fault they don't have Windows

An Apple store near where I live got robbed

$25k worth of merchandise was stolen. The police said that they will get both computers back.

What's the theme song of an Apple Store?

Return Of The Mac

I watched two guys rob an Apple Store today. The police caught them.

I'm going to be an iWitness at the trial

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

A normal day at the Apple store

Me: *Walks into an Apple store.*

Apple employee: Hi, what would you like today?

Me: I got $1000 to buy anything I want.

AE: Then our iPhone XS will be perfect! You can have the power of a computer right in your pocket. You can call, text, browse, play games, and so much more!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The double flavored apple store

A man just moved to a new town from far away, and one day decides to take a walk around to get to know the area.

While walking down the street and checking out all the stores along the way, he notices one that seemed unusual. The sign above read "Jerry's Double Flavored Apples." Curious, the ...

Why do farts linger on in the Apple store?

They can't open windows.

I recently got caught up in a heist at an Apple Store.

I guess you can call me an iWitness

How can you tell when a pirate has been to the Apple store?

He's wearing an iPatch.

What do you call 69 people waiting in line at an Apple store?

iQueue below 70

Saw an advert on the side of the Apple Store saying 'Apply Inside'

Well it's not going to be orangey is it?

The guy at the Apple store looked at me funny when...

I asked him to pear my device

The Apple Store in my city was looted and thieves took off with $100K worth of products.

Police make no arrests and say they were were able to recover both computers.

When I walk into an Apple store, I feel like a kid in a candy shop.

I can’t afford anything in there.

I tried to break into the Apple Store but...

...the backdoor was locked and they didn't have any windows

A man goes to the Apple store

To upgrade his iPhone, wondering why all the new products looked the same as the old but had a plus next to them.

He asked an employee who said, "yeah if we add a plus next to the products people think they're better than the really are."

Later that night as the man was getting frisky...

Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store....

and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows.

Why was the Apple Store in Wilmington so afraid of competition?

They were Dell-Aware.

For fathers day, I bought my dad a $100 gift card to the Apple Store...

He said "Thanks for the phone charger, son."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went into the Apple store to get a new MacBook for my wife.

Bastards wouldn't do the deal, and said they prefered cash.

So Bill Gates walks into an Apple store and farts the hell out of life. Everyone looks at him and says dude wtf it stinks.

Bill Gates b like "well its not my problem ya'll dont have windows in here"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone told me that when there is a tornado, to hide in a location without windows.

Such as a bathroom or basement. Replied that an Apple store would work as well.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I (31m) just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life

I've always kinda wanted an iPhone but never had one before, so I go to the Apple Store to have a look. So there I am, when this middle aged guy comes up next to me, like really close. And then he starts asking me if I like the new iPhone, what do I think about the camera, am I thinking of getting o...

Tragic reports as customers find themselves trapped inside a burning Apple store

There were no windows.

I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones. What is the name of the movie?

Lord of the rings

Microsoft is so stupid...

They are willing to pay $1B for tik tok, I got it for free from apple store.

So Apple made a spinoff of the iPod Touch...

...where you design all its features yourself. The color, storage, apps that come with it, basically everything.

However, it got banned from all Apple stores because of its name, the iTouchMyself.

What would be Issac Newton's job if he were alive today?

An Apple Store genius.

I fell asleep at the mall today...

I was counting customers leaving the Apple store

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