Steve Jobs Jokes

Big Mac

ifarted

iCame, iSaw, iConquered.

Because he didn’t use Windows.

But that's really comparing Apple to oranges

Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life.

His house didn't have windows!

What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.

Because he used eye-pads before sleep

... Because it's not PC

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, "Why am I here? Certainly I've changed the world for the better through an innovative technological revolution."

"That's quite true," says Satan. "You belong 'upstairs' and I'm only borrowing you for a few days. But see, whenever ne... read more

"When things start going south, when others try to change the way we make our products, when we are perceived as not innovating anymore...
you make a stand!!!"

Han Jobs

Because he wanted his products to be beautiful and tantalizing, just like an apple.

Today, it’s widely recognized that Apple’s products are indeed both beautiful and tantalizing. You could say his company is appley named.

One more thing...

Mac users have no CTRL

His current business model would suck.

He got uploaded to The Cloud.

Now there's no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please don't let anything happen to Kevin Bacon.

He is now called Steve Retired.

He switched to tumor things.

.. As he steps up to the pearly gates, St. Peter looks at him with a frown on his face, points downwards and says: “You know how we feel about Apples up here.”

I thought Apples didn't get viruses

He couldn't get past the Gates.

Bill Gates.

He probably gotta use the computers he sells.

Planet of the Apps.

Dead.

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

...now that he's underground.

An iPatch! Yarrrr.

It’s called St. Eve Jobs.

Pancreatic Cancer

He could never WinThose

...turns out he was the original Mac Daddy.

Apparently none of them could sing, either.

"If you live each day as it was your last,… "

And I have no money left!

Political correctness and pancreatic cancer.

God's a bit touchy about apples...

I've decided to release the cure for pancreatic cancer into the public domain.

But only in flash.

except his pancreas

But I don't think he'll ever be as popular as his brother, Hand.

Yep. He's still pushing apples.

I don’t think that’s what Steve Jobs had in mind when he was talking about live streaming.

St. Peter asks him if he thinks he deserves to go to heaven or hell.

Steve says “definitely heaven - I was responsible for the creation of products that brought joy to millions around the world.”

St. Peter replies “yes that is true, but I’m afraid you have to go to hell.”

Dumfou... read more

Because he's always inbetween jobs.

and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.

Except Apple doesn't support Flash.

iCaramba

But let's not compare Apples to Oranges.

Eventually St. Peter comes to him and lets him know that he's done a lot of good things for the world and caused a lot of trouble, so they're not sure where to put him. He lets him get a tour of heaven and hell and let him decide where he wants to be.

So Steve goes on a tour of heaven and ... read more