At a university there was a dean who cared about others and showed exemplary behavior. One day an angel appeared at a faculty conference.
The angel said as a reward for his good deeds that God would give him his choice of eternal riches, eternal wisdom, or eternal beauty.
The dean chose eternal wisdom without hesitation.
"Good," said the angel, disappearing into a cloud of smoke.
Everyone present turned their gaze...
What do you call a video of an emo, appearing in a video game??
A cut scene.
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
A mathematician asks his coworker to solve a complex equation for him.
After some struggle, the coworker finds that he can't figure out the answer in just one day, so the next day he tells the mathematician that he'll need two more days to find a proper solution.
Two more days pass and he still can't solve the equation, so he goes back and asks him for just thre...
A woman was caught with drugs in her hand by a cop while in the bathroom of a nightclub
The woman swears that the drugs are not hers and promises that, "They aren’t mine - I found them here and I tried to flush them down the toilet. However, every single time I flush the drugs down the drain they just keep re-appearing magically in my hands or my pockets!"
The cop, obviously in ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Superman had a huge crush on Wonder Woman...
He was always to scared to tell her, fearing it would ruin their work relationship. One day, he was using his X-ray vision to watch her in her apartment. He saw her put on music and start taking her clothes off. She sat down on her bed. She was getting in the romantic mood. She was squirming around,...
Was wondering why all the problem seems to be appearing in 2020?
Because we were short sighted all along!
I told my friend I was appearing in Hamlet at the Globe Theatre
He said, "Are you being facetious?" I said "No, Polonius"
Three guys on a hiking trip find a lamp, so they rub it until a genie appears who generously offers to grant each of them three wishes.
The first one goes "I would love to be as rich as I ever want, with enough money appearing in my bank account whenever I want to buy anything." The second one says "that's amazing, I want the same!", but the third one says "I want my left arm to constantly rotate clockwise." - "Done", says the ge...
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