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Flash was running and saw Wonder Woman lying naked in the beach (NSFW)

He thought this would be the best chance,he could go in, do his business and leave even before anyone notices. So he goes in, finishes his business and runs away!

Sensiting this commotion, Wonder Woman asks "What the fuck just happened? " and Invisible Man replies "I don't know, but my asshol...

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How come The Flash leaves his partners temporarily blinded after sex?

Cause they get Flashbanged.

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Two nuns were walking to the market when a man jumped from the bushes and flashed at them and ran away!!!

"What shall we do now ?" Asked the first nun.

"We are sworn to neither lie nor hide the truth" said the second nun " we should report to Mother Superior that we had the misfortune of seeing a man's penis twice".

"Twice?" Exclaimed the first nun" we just saw it once".

"Aren't you...

News Flash

**A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.** **"Father O’Malley," he says, "My name is Aaron Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire l...

What's the difference between $3.50 and a girl flashing you on the street?

Dyslexia. One is free tiddy and one is tree fiddy.

For those of you who are placing Christmas lights / decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together?

Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the weed, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just ...

This guy at a park flashed three old ladies sitting on a bench...

The first had a stroke.

The second had a stroke.

The third would have had a stroke but she couldn’t reach.

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A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell.

They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a policeman.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” said t...

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Two 90-year-old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says,

“Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s football...

Why did the camera flash go to jail?

It was charged with battery.

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Why did the woman flash the tattoo artist

It was tit for tat

NEWS FLASH.... Autumn is almost here, and Donald Trump has stated that "It will be getting cooler".

I don't know about you, but I think he's really going out on a limb, predicting stuff like that.

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The tattoo parlour in my town is offering free tattoos to anyone who would flash their boobs.

It’s a tit for tat special.

I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera...

I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the speed limit even though I knew I was not speeding.

Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. No...

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At our tattoo studio, women can flash their boobs to get a discount

The business model we operate on is "tit for tat".

One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you’re having. It only costs $...

Two old ladies were sat on a park bench when a man walking past suddenly flashed them. One of the ladies had a stroke.

The other wasn't quick enough.

Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench in Central Park. Suddenly, a man dressed in an overcoat appears from behind a tree. The man casually opens his coat and flashes the unsuspecting ladies.

Surprised, the first lady had a stroke. The second lady also had a stroke. The third lady, though, declined to touch it.

What did Tweety Bird say when Kat Von D flashed him?

Ooh! I think I saw a tiddy tat!

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A man went into a Birmingham supermarket asking to buy half a cauliflower.

The young greens produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers.

The man persisted, and asked to see the manager; so the boy went to find him.

Walking into the stock room, unaware that the customer was following him, the boy said to his manager, "Some idiot out there...

A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and...

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After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.



When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"



The mysterious Man answered "This isn...

Two nuns sat on a park bench when a man ran up in a trench coat and flashed them

One nun instantly had a stroke... the other couldn’t quite reach it

News Flash........... News Flash.

Isis suicide bomber kills himself & 78 other family members after deciding to work from home.

The jester and the king

It's a well known fact that humorists are more intelligent than the run of the mill average joe on the street. It's also a well known fact that it's not always a good idea to flaunt those extra smarts.

One day, the royal court was lounging around in a bored state. Without thinking, the jeste...

A good, Catholic Irish girl goes to her father and says, "Dad, I'm pregnant"

Quick as a flash he replies, "Are ye sure it's yours?!"

Another Lawyer Joke

A very successful attorney parked his brand-new Bentley in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and ...

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I was doing 20 over the speed limit when a cop car appeared in my rear view mirror, lights flashing.

I pulled over and stepped out of the car and was met by the most beautiful female police officer I'd ever seen.

She told me to turn around, place my hands on the car and spread my legs. As I did, she began frisking me. As she neared my crotch, I suffered premature ejaculation.

I got o...

Last pull-over

A new Mercedes owner was out on an interstate for a nice eveningdrive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what wasleft of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red andblue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can ca...

So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week

She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."

I asked her: "What do you think it means?"

She smiled and said: "I don't know..."

Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.

I still don't know w...

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An old joke I read while searching for jokes on Discord with friends the other day. Not mine, but good regardless.

A businessman is getting ready to go on a long business trip across the country. He knows his wife is always getting horny, so he decides to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her having sex with someone else.

So he went to a stor...

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One day while I was walking down the street, 6 beautiful women flashed me their breasts completely out of the blue. Now I know what you’re thinking...

This story sounds totally ridiculous

Dozen tit?

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership...

Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more. But looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State Trooper behind him; blue and red lights flashing and sire...

Three old ladies on a bench

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench, just chatting the day away, like they tend to do.

Suddenly, a man walks up to them in a trench coat and flashes them with all the glory god gave him.

Well, the first old lady had a stroke right away.

The second old lady had a stroke soon ...

I used to be really good at flash mobs

But then my 5 year old stopped inviting me to her dance rehearsals.

A lady is walking to the store when the sees the most beautiful garden shes ever seen....

She askes the man wattering his garden

"Excuse me sir, how do you get such red tomatoes?"

"Well" he said, "it's a bit embarrassing, but every morning I get up and come outside in just my robe and flash my tomatoes. Then the tomatoes blush and turn redder! You should try it sometime!"...

A flash flood warning is broadcasted. The streets fill with water, and people begin to evacuate—except for one Catholic woman.

She stays in her home and prays. A bus pulls up to her house, and the driver urges her to get out, but she replies, “No. God will save me.” The bus driver reluctantly pulls away.

Water begins pooling into her house, and she calmly rises to the second floor.

Through the window, she sees...

A redittor has a lethal accident, in their final moments their whole life flashes before their eyes...

Their last thought... "Repost"

A chauffeur goes to pick up the pope

Upon arrival the pope tells the chauffeur that he never gets to drive anymore and pleads with him to let him behind the wheel for a little while. Being a good catholic boy, he accepts the pope's request and takes a seat in the back off the car.

Once the pope is behind the wheel, the chauffeur...

So the state trooper said "I've been following you with my lights flashing for three miles. Why didn't you pull over?"

and I said, "Well, a few years ago my wife ran away with a state trooper and I was worried that you were trying to return her."

Series of jokes translated from Armenian

Some context: Abaran is a city in Armenia, and there's this stereotype about the "Abarantsi" (person from Abaran) who is supposed to be stupid and there's a bunch of jokes about it, kind of like blonde jokes (this is all for the sake of the joke, however, and we love and respect the people of Abaran...

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First year students of a medical college are waiting for their first class

The most senior professor entered the classroom with a naked dead body of an old man on a stretcher lying butt upwardse

"I would like to tell you that to become a great doctor you must have these two qualities" said the professor

The second quality is "you must never feel disgust about...

A man is driving to work when he notices the flash of a traffic camera.

He figures that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knows that he wasn’t speeding. Just to be sure, he circles the block and passes the exact same spot, driving even slower this time through. Again, the camera flashes. He thinks it is hilarious, since he was obviously ...

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My wife suspected I was cheating, so to catch me she hired a prostitute to flash her breasts and try to seduce me.

I didn't fall for that shit... I can spot a booby trap a mile away.

Why did David Bowie's VCR always flash "12:00"?

Because although time may change him, he can't change time.

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One evening, Little Johnny, his brother Little Jimmy, and their dad, sat down to eat supper.

One evening, Little Johnny, his brother Little Jimmy, and their dad, sat down to eat supper. The dad turned to Little Jimmy and asked, "Little Jimmy, what would you like to eat first?" To this Little Jimmy replied, "I want some of them fuckin' peas." In a flash, dad slapped the shit out Little Ji...

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I hate those drivers that try to overtake you on a main road doing 40. I always try to slow down and block them, no matter how much they horn or flash their lights.

Fuck ambulances, I swear.

When the guy who invented the USB flash drive dies,

they are going to put his coffin in the ground, lift it back up and turn it over, then put it back into the ground.

A new tattoo studio opened in my neighbourhood which offered free sessions to any women who flashed the artist.

It was called 'Tit for Tat'

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The year is 1939, and the USSR is invading Finland.

The Soviet army is marching through the Finnish swamps when they hear shouting from the other side of a nearby hill:

"I bet one Finn can beat ten Soviets!"

The Soviet officer laughs at this and sends ten of his best soldiers to deal with this guy. After a couple of minutes of shooting ...

A photographer goes to a haunted castle

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween.

The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot.

The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
...

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If you’re a tattoo artist who gives free tattoos in exchange for being flashed

Are you then a believer of tit for tat?

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my dentist is also a stripper

she can't stop flashing her teeths

It's funny how the colors Red, White, and Blue represent freedom.

Until they're flashing behind your car

Professor of Philosophy

At the school-wide faculty meeting, an angel appeared suddenly.

The angel said to the head of the philosophy department:

"I can give you wisdom, beauty, or 10 million dollars, choose one of the three."

The professor chose wisdom without thinking

After a flash of lig...

If the Flash dies...

Will they have to Barry Allen?

The preacher and the ghost.

A new preacher wanted to rent a house in the country but the only one available was rumored to be haunted. That didn’t bother the preacher since he didn’t believe in such things. He went ahead and rented the place.

Soon the ghost made its appearance. The preacher told his friends about the gh...

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A toothpaste factory had a problem

Due to the way the production line was set up, sometimes empty boxes were shipped without the tube inside. People with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming off of it is perfect 100% ...

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The tale of the little red man.

One upon a time there was a little red man who lived in a little red house , on a little red street , in a little red city.

One little red morning the little red man awoke from his little red slumber , left his little red bed and went to take a little red shower - meanwhile outside the little...

Dying, the man's life flashed before his eyes. But he smiled.

He'd forgotten all about that meme.

A very reasonable excuse

A fellow who was exceeding the speed limit when he caught the sight of red & blue flashing lights in the rear view.

Pulling his car over, the officer stopped behind him & approached the driver's window. Rolling his window down the driver had a terrified look on his face. The office a...

Seeing the flash in the distance, Elton John knew he only had moments to live. He turned to the nearest celebrity at the party for one last human embrace.

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

Ive heard the local flasher was due to retire..

But hes decided to stick it out for another year

A Bad Sign

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. A Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him.

He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had s...

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet...

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.

At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.

When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash....

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A priest and his friend are golfing.

The priest is ahead because his friend keeps missing easy putts. He watches in amusement as his friend misses another two-footer.

"Goddamnit! Missed! These just won't drop today," says the friend.

"Now, now, Jon," the priest said. "You shouldn't don't take the Lord's name in vain."
...

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A joke that’s got me various death threats

So there was a horse, and this horse was really talented. He was great on guitar. One day he found himself watching youtube and stumbled upon a Jimi Hendrix song which inspired him to start a cover. He practised this cover really hard, eventually becoming inspired to create a cover of a whole Jimi H...

The creator of the USB flash drive died today.

He was lowered into his coffin, flipped over, and then lowered again.

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A man was walking home drunk

and he decides to take a short cut over a field. In the far end he notices some flashing lights coming from a barn house.

As he gets closer he looks through the window, and to his surprise sees a man in a T-shirt dancing while slowly taking off his overalls.

Drunk as he is, he opens ...

A Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off....

Two battleships were out at sea during heavy weather for several days...

The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow."

"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.

Lo...

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Ink for Pink

For a women to flash her boobs at the tattoo artist for a free inking considered tits-for-tats ?

Three women die and go to heaven. St. Peter tells them he ask to ask each of them a question.

The first woman walks up, and St. Peter asks her "Who was the first man on Earth?"

"Oh, that's an easy one! That was Adam!" And lights flash, and bells ring, and the gates open, and she walks in.

The second woman walks up, and St. Peter asks her "Who was the first woman on Earth?"
<...

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A notorious loan shark is driving drunk one night...

As he's speeding down some curvy mountain roads, the shark loses control of the vehicle and crashes head-on into a tree.

When he comes to, the man finds himself lying on a sofa in a fairly modest looking waiting room. Dizzy, he looks around and sees what appears to be a reception desk at the ...

A young man was a lifeguard and a swim instructor

All summer the young man would go to the neighborhood pool. In the mornings he would teach children of all ages pool safety and how to swim. In the afternoons he sat up in the big chair and watched swimmers.

Soon summer led to fall. The pool closed. The young man returned to school in the cit...

Dark humour joke

Kobe Bryant missed a shot because of the flash of a camera.

To stop this from happening again, he stared at the sun for 8 hours to train his eyes.

It’s a shame he couldn’t see the mountain.

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I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

A young boy was obsessed with farming machinery

A young boy was obsessed with farming machinery, he built models, he drew them, and spent all his free time going to his local farm just for a look at a combine harvester or a hay baler.

As he aged, his interest in mechanised agriculture slowly disappeared, and by the time he was married with...

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An ad man is overwhelmed with work...

An ad man is overwhelmed with work so he contracts our his easiest account, for Acme Nails, to his brother in law, who is a professional animator, to produce the ad.

Two days before it's due he still hasn't heard anything so he calls his BIL.

"Hey man, you must be done by now, right? I...

Schwartz dies and they bring his body to the funeral home...

The mortician undresses the body, only to discover Schwartz had the biggest pecker he’d ever seen in his life. He can’t wait to tell his wife- but would she ever believe him? In a flash he cuts it off and places it in a gallon size jar with some embalming fluid.
He gets home, calls for his wife ...

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I want to see if this Argentinian joke can withstand translation (NSFW)

Two young pretty nuns arrive to the convent shocked and distraught, almost in tears.
The Mother Superior (head of the convent) immediately approaches and asks what happened. The nuns say “a pervert exposed himself to us a couple blocks from here”.
The mother superior, a stocky, strong, tough...

Who is faster? Superman or the flash?

Umm. The cameraman?...

Moral of the story

There is a green man who live in his green house on a green hill and everything in his house is green.

One day, while he was taking a shower in his green bathroom, he heard his green doorbell rang. He grabbed his green towel and went down his green stairs and opened his green door.

Bef...

There was a hunter who lived alone in the middle of the forest, in a small house by the river..

A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish.


One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he saw the river ...

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unen...

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What do you call a dude flashing his dick in public?

Pubic nuisance

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Reincarnation - My favorite joke of all time.

Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of t...

The aircraft carrier captain saw a light whilst at sea

"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."

But the light flashes back "\*YOU\* turn to port to avoid a collision."

The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 warplanes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! \*Y...

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Three men arrive in Heaven at the same time.

As they approach the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter appears before them.

"The rules are simple: to get into Heaven, first you have to tell me how you die. If I'm satisfied with your story, you can come in."

The first man steps forward.

"Imagine this. You come home to your sixth-floo...

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Three men go to hell and they’re pissed

“Surely we weren’t that bad?” they ask themselves. “There has to be something we can do to get out of here.”

Satan suddenly appears and says “Oh, but there is! Withstand ten whippings from my trusty whip here and you’re free to go. I’ll even let you pick something to cover your back with”
...

The Priest & The Frog...

"One fine sunny morning, the Irish priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool."

"What's wrong with you?" said the irish priest."

"Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fi...

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A guy has a crush on his friend's chinese wife.

One day he runs into her while she is shopping and he proposes they have lunch together in a nearby restaurant.
Finding it hard to converse with her flirtatiously, he proposes they play a game.
"What if I pay you 100 bucks to show me your boobs?" Asks the guy.


"Okay." The lady agre...

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A man drives by a police camera and it flashes...

A man drives by a police camera and it flashes. Relatively sure that he was not speeding, he goes around and drives by the camera again, this time keeping an eye on his speed and going 10 mph under the limit and it still flashes.

Surprised, he goes around and drives by a 3rd time, this time g...

Tried to snap pics of a ghost with my phone but they came out dark

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak

Whats the difference between Quicksilver and The Flash.

Only one can catch a bullet.

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What did the women say to the tattoo artist before flashing him?

Tit for tat?

(I'm sorry in advance. No more internet for me today)

Policeman: Why didn’t you stop immediately when you saw my flashing lights?

Me: Well officer, you see my ex-wife ran off with a cop and I thought you were trying to give her back.

Did you hear about the message that tricked ice to flash to vapor without first passing through the liquid state?

It was subliminal.

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A woman flashed her tits at me today....

I just sat there and giggled like a school boy.



Then she said to me " will you stop mucking around and check this lump, doctor."

Superman walks into a bar with Batman, the Flash, Wonder Woman and Aquaman

He walk up to the bar and orders 5 whiskeys on the rocks.
“Would you like any coke or a slice of lemon in those?” asks the barmaid.
“No thanks,” says Superman, “we’re the just ice league!”.

A bouquet of flowers

A man walks past a flower shop one day and thinks how he never buys flowers for his wife. So he steps in and orders a nice bouquet of flowers.

He comes home, rings the doorbell. His wife opens the door. He hands her the bouquet and she goes wild with excitement! She pulls him in, closes the d...

A Bartender walks into a bar.

\*Bart's life flashes before his eyes as he's mercilessly shot four times in the chest\*

Barry Allen (the Flash) wanted to have an herb garden, but decided against it.

I mean, he really shouldn't be travelling through thyme...

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A well-off man is driving home in his new Ferrari...

The man is enjoying the attention from passers-by, and isn't paying much attention to the road. Distracted, he makes a wrong turn and drives off a cliff.

His Ferrari falls to the bottom and smashes to pieces, but by a freak stroke of luck, the man manages to save himself by grabbing onto an ...

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A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...

A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear-view mirror pulls to the side of the road.

After coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.

The man asks, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you."

Man: "No sir, I was going a little over 60."

Wife: "O...

This summer was driving down the highway when it saw police lights flashing in its rear view window...

It, being the good summer it is, pulls over and the cop approaches its car window. The officer leans in and says, “Summer, do you know fast you were going?”

Summer, without hesitation, lights a cigarette and puffs, “I don’t know, Sir. Too fast?”

Why did the bar owner flash the band after their last set?

To pay them with exposure.

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A woman makes a deal with the Devil to gain wealth and power, but doesn't want to go to Hell.

The Devil makes a little rule for the woman. She happily agrees and thus, the contract is sealed.

She goes onto be the best stockbroker in her city, giving her a near bottomless checkbook and connections to lawmakers, celebrities, anyone with even a scrap of power in the city.


Almo...

A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck.

The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.”

The woman, astounded, t...

An epileptic has started waking himself each morning with flashing lights...

He says it’s part of his new plan to seize the day.

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What does an epileptic guy do if you flash him?

Seizure...

boobs.

As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah,

I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed

I told you I was broke

A little lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning" said the young man. "If I can take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high power vacuum cleaner"

"G...

Two construction workers were eating lunch on a bench on the side of the road...

As they were eating lunch, they notice a very attractive woman walking on the other side of the road. The two workers start to cat call her until she stops and looks at them.
Once she looks at them, they make the notion for her flash them by pulling up on their shirts. The woman looks around and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is passing through a small town when he decides to visit the local bar.

He walks up to the counter where he notices a large jar filled to the brim with $5 bills. Curious, the man asks the bartender about the jar. The bartender tells him “here in our lil town of ours we ain’t got much goin’ on. So we decided to host a series of challenges here. Anyone can take on the cha...

Retired Preacher man Sits on his sofa....

And he sees on the news channel there's a massive storm and flash floods coming.. news channel says to evacuate but he's stays put...
The Rain begins and so the flood waters rise.. his sofa starts to float .. so he climbs out onto the window ledge and a rescue boat comes along..

" *Jump ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

And old english gentleman is sitting in his study.

Suddenly his buttler crashes in through the door and screams "SIR! We are flooding! There's water everywhere..."

"James! This is most irregular. Please leave and come in again with the dignity that is inherent to English gentlemen!"

The buttler bows himself out and then comes in agai...

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