\- brought to you by the Bad Puns Initiative (BPI)
Stop calling Karens children Angles....
They are not acute thing.
making a baby
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door ...
A politician who did absolutely nothing good or bad in his life died... God and Satan are discussing what to do with him. God says "He's done nothing great in his life, so he cant possibly go to heaven."
Satan responds "Well, he did nothing to deserve eternal damnnation either." So they let the man spend one day in each heaven and hell to decide where he wanted to spend eternity. In heaven, the politician spends the entire time sitting in a comfortable chair, fighting to stay awake as angels f...
Three angles compete to be Goldilocks' husband
The first is obtuse and unattractive; Goldilocks says no.
The second is a-cute one but is unintelligent; again, Goldilocks says no.
But the third, ah yes, the third, is just right.
If an Anglophone speaks the language of the Angles
what does that make someone who speaks the language of the Saxons?
I’m seeing a lot of heaven related jokes, so here’s a bad one to lower every bodies expectations-
What do angles fish for in heaven? Holy mackerels
Lysol's marketing department are trying out some new angles to generate sales. They claim that one bottle can clean an entire family of dolphins!
It's the best multi-porpoise cleaner on the market!
What do you get when two different pairs of similar angles get in a car accident?
a wrecked angle
(This took me one 20 minute shower to think out)
My mum told me she never really liked the angles in a square.
I said "ehh, they're alright"
Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners instead of 90 degree angles?
If they were 90 degrees the ice would melt.
Jones the farmer and his son Berwyn sign up for a sight-seeing tour in a small aircraft. As always, Jones angles for the best deal possible.
“Very well, Mr Jones,” says the pilot. “If you can go through the entire flight without making a sound, you and Berwyn can have your tickets for free.”
So the plane takes off and the pilot makes sure it’s a rough one, launching almost straight up, flying under the Severn Bridge, using every s...
A Woman Was Redecorating Her House
But when it came time to choose her window curtains, she was torn between two different shades of blue. One set was a darker shade - which matched the sofa, and the other was a lighter shade - which matched the chair. No matter how she tried to justify one over the other, she could not come to a dec...
My Math teacher asked me if I have learnt about angles
yeah, to a degree
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
So a man was thinking about what his wife said about pregnancy.
His wife had just been arguing with him the child birth is more painful then getting hit in the balls. He politely thought about it from both angles and realized he was right all along. Because if a woman gives birth after about a year or two she says "wouldn't it be nice to have another child", ...
Where do angles go for fun on the weekends?
To watch movies in the THETA