UPJOKE
twistturngyrationspinwhirlrotatepivotrollearthmathematicsmotionrevolutioncircumvolutionspiralpronation

The rotation of earth

Really makes my day.

Workers at the International Earth Rotation Service have gone on strike.

This is going to be a long day.

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A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.” He replied, “That’s all right; we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”

So she consented and they were married, and they went on honeymoon to a very nice resort.

One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 30-foot high board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. T...

A philosopher, a physicist, and a layman were walking on a beach

A theologist, a physicist, and a layman were walking on a beach when they come across a watch that had washed up on the shore.

After studying the watch for some time, the theologist declared that clearly some intelligent being has created the object, for each part works harmoniously with the ...

Job rotation!

A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said:

When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

Now after ten years it's different.
I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my ...

What vocal range do Lockpickers sing in?

Falsetto


(followed by counter rotation, click out of three)

A kid walks into a car shop to get his get his first oil change.

"Oh, you're in for an oil change, okay. Also, while you're in do you know the last time the car had a tire rotation?" the worker says.

The kid looks at the worker confused,"Sir, I dont want to tell you how to do your job or anything, but the tires rotated on the way here."

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previou...

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Guy dies and enters Heaven. Upon opening his eyes, he sees thousands of clocks on the walls. Also noticed that the minute and hour hands on each clock are turning at different speeds....some slow and some faster. Guy asks St Peter what the clocks mean.....[NSFW]

St Peter explains that every time you masturbated, the clock would turn one complete rotation. Guy asks where his clock is. St Peter replies, “we use your clock as a bathroom fan.”

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.

You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Roc...

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I didn't learn much from Mario Party 64, but I did learn that...

the button mashing and joy stick rotation techniques don't necessarily translate well to the bedroom.

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3 men are wandering the desert and find a magic lamp

One of them picks it up and gives it a rub and a genie pops out.

"Thank you for freeing me, as a sign of gratitude I shall grant each of you 3 wishes."

The first man quickly speaks "I wish I had a million dollars!" the genie nods and the man gets his phone, checks his bank account and ...

Anatomy joke

What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?

The gluteus maximus

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