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Anaesthetist Jokes

I wouldn’t want to be an anaesthetist

That type of job would put me to sleep

I'm an anaesthetist that moonlights as a meal designer for French Celiacs

I love to leave people pain free

Before my surgery, my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...

It was an ether/oar situation.

I just successfully pulled-off the 'key to comedy' joke around my surgery.

As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, 'I have a joke'. 'Better be quick!' The anaesthetist said.
'Do you know what the key to comedy is?'
Then I smiled and passed out.

When I woke up a couple of hours later I asked the nurse to tell the anaesthetist my message: 'timing'....

My Uncle Bill used to tell me that the secret to great theatre was ‘always leave them wanting more’…..

Lovely bloke, terrible anaesthetist.

I'm training to be an anaesthetist, so I asked the head surgeon "Can I practice on my self first?"

He said "Sure, knock yourself out!"

The last thing you want to hear your surgeon say is "oops"

Because if you hear that, it means your anaesthetist has also messed up..

Anaesthetists are so boring

All they do is put people to sleep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bunch of doctors were asked about easing lockdown restrictions

Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception...

Stopping the leaks

A urologist in London had a leak in his bathroom on a Sunday. He called a plumber who charged him a £50 call out fee plus another £100 for fixing the problem in 15 minutes.
The urologist was shocked and said to the plumber - I am a Urologist and I fix human water works and I don't get paid this ...

I went in to hospital for an operation...

I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said:

"Sure, knock yourself out".

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