Before surgery, my anaesthetist offered me a couple of different options.

He could either knock me out with gas, or he could do it with a large wooden boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

I'm training to be an anaesthetist, so I asked the head surgeon "Can I practice on my self first?"

He said "Sure, knock yourself out!"

Anaesthetists are so boring

All they do is put people to sleep.

A conversation between a psychologist and an anaesthetist was described as .....

..... mind numbing.

My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.

He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bunch of doctors were asked about easing lockdown restrictions

Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception...

I just successfully pulled-off the 'key to comedy' joke around my surgery.

As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, 'I have a joke'. 'Better be quick!' The anaesthetist said.
'Do you know what the key to comedy is?'
Then I smiled and passed out.

When I woke up a couple of hours later I asked the nurse to tell the anaesthetist my message: 'timing'....

I went in to hospital for an operation...

I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said:

"Sure, knock yourself out".

Stopping the leaks

A urologist in London had a leak in his bathroom on a Sunday. He called a plumber who charged him a £50 call out fee plus another £100 for fixing the problem in 15 minutes.
The urologist was shocked and said to the plumber - I am a Urologist and I fix human water works and I don't get paid this ...

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