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Achoo Jokes

My wife asked me why I always have to sneeze so loudly.

I told her, it’s not that I HAVE to….

Achoos to

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call with an immigrant?

Foreignercation

Foreigner-cation, for those not seeing it. Props to ImMrSneezyAchoo.

Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept ACHOO!

Sorry, I have a wheat allergy.

Where do Incans go to sneeze?

Achoo Picchu

Gesundheit

What are you called when you reach the highest power level sneeze ever?

You're a Peak-Achoo.



I'll see myself out...

They’re having a great sale in person at the mall for Black Friday

Everything is buy one, get achoo free

The phone rings....

A man answers: "Hello?"


"*cough, cough, achoo*"


"Who is this?"


"*cough, achoo, cough, cough*"


The man slams down the phone. "Damn cold calls."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

stalin is in a huge auditorium giving a speech,

when from somewhere near the front of the crowd comes a DEAFENING sneeze, cutting him off. In a booming voice Stalin asks, "WHO DID THAT?"

No reply.

Stalin orders the entire front row to be taken outside and executed. Thereafter he continues his speech, until another ear-splitting ACHO...

Hey baby do you have the Corona virus?

Because I can’t stop looking achoo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sneezes just went from bless you to you real quick.

Achoo.

I recently found out I’m allergic to alliteration

*Achoo*

My friend choked to death while sneezing.

I guess he bit off more than he could achoo.

What mountaintop is infamous for making climbers disappear?

\- Peak Aboo.

And which one gives them a flu?

\- Peak Achoo.

What do you call a vampire with allergies?

Nosefor-achoo!

What is the state that has the most colds?

Mass-ACHOO-setts

What does a sick train say?

Achoo Achoo!

What did the Frenchman with bad allergies say when he had to leave the dinner party?

My sincerest apologies but I bid you all ACHOO.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new highly infectious virus has broken out in Boston causing large amounts of people to sneeze so hard fall on their .

They’re calling the “mass achoo sits”.
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