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I've developed a device that absorbs nutrients and water from biomass.

It'll be on the market soon, but for now it's still in testin'.

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Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it...

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I don’t need to poop because my body absorbs all the energy from food.

But some people tell me I’m full of shit.

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The year: 2029. A brilliant scientist is constructing the first sentient artificial intelligence.

He's working out of his garage in San Francisco, living on charitable donations from his worried friends. He dropped out of college when he realized he could change the world — there's no going back; his life is dedicated to this project. At first, he is met with failure upon failure. But then, he r...

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Slapping Old People

An old man and old woman are sitting on their front porch on a bench one day just enjoying the scenery. All of a sudden the old woman looks at her husband and slaps him across his face. He looks and her and says "What was that for?" She said "That is for 40 years of horrible sex!" He is quiet as he ...

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Apache indian child

One day a tiny Apache indian child walked into Big Chief Sitting Bull's Teepee.

"Sitting Bull," He asked, "Why does every man in our tribe have such long, complicated names?"

"Well," says Sitting Bull, "Its simple.Whenever a baby in this tribe is born, His Father wanders outside, abs...

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An old couple decide to take a second honeymoon...

An old couple decide to take a second honeymoon at the same place as their original honeymoon to celebrate their 50th year together. The couple lay in bed when the wife turns to the husband and asks: "When you first saw me naked, what did you think?" The husband thinks for a moment and then says: "I...

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New metals are added to chemistry

A new metal is added to chemistry:

• NAME

- Husband

• SYMBOL:

- Hb

• ATOMIC WEIGHT:

1. Light when found first
2. Tends to get heavier over the years with time

• PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Boils at any time with inlaws
2. Can...

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