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Abducting Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a group of alien females abducting men with huge penises.

I don't think you're in any trouble though, I just wanted to tell you how cool this space ship is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there are reports of UFO sightings and alien abductions in North America right now

They're only abducting people with large penises. YOU guys don't have anything to worry about but I just wanted to say the spaceship is super cool on the inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve recently started an all-vegan diet and I’ve never been healthier!

Abducting them, killing them and digging holes to dispose of the remains has been great exercise.

The only problem is it’s become difficult to shut the fuck up telling everybody how much better I feel and how their diet is wrong and immoral.

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