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Elope Jokes

Humans can elope

Fruits cantaloupe.

What do you call an Indian girl who elopes on her marriage day?

Miss Singh

I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow, addressed to, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of al...

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend...

...when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries....

Last summer I planned to elope with my Cherokee fiancé

but she had her reservations.

You've got a friend called Ed, his girlfriend eloped with another man. What do you tell him?

Ed, she ran.

what's an incel's favorite fruit?

Can't elope

What food results in the most expensive weddings?

Can't-elope

Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today.

JK

How's the wedding planning coming on, John?

John: "We're having a slight difference of opinion. She wants a big church wedding, large reception, small orchestra, the works. I want to elope with someone else."

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

A teenager confesses to her mother

T: "I have decided to run away and elope with Marty the mail man"

M: "Oh, but honey he could be your father"

T: "I don't care, he loves me, age is just a number"

M: "Oh no, deary, I didn't mean it that way..."

What kind of fruit doesn’t get laid?

A can’t elope

My 11 year old niece came up with this one:

What is a priests favorite fruit ?
Cant-elope

Did you hear about the two melons who couldn’t get married?

They can’t elope

What did the Melon say to his son about running off with his girlfriend?

Son, You can't elope

A Daughter Melon and a Daddy Melon Are Having a Heart To Heart...

The daughter melon says "But daddy I love him! We're getting married!"

The daddy melon replies "Alright fine. But you can't elope!"

Two Melons ran away to Mexico to get Married

The first asked the second, "Honey, do you really think we should do this?"

The second replied, "You're right, we can't elope."

What's a one letter word that starts with E and ends with E?

Envelope

What do you call a fruit who's afraid of commitment?

A can't-elope

Do you know the reasons why most melons live alone?

Because they can't elope

Two melons are madly in love

But they are completely broke, so they can't elope.

Two melons were in the supermarket

When one exclaimed to the other “Let’s run away from this place and get married!!”

The other one replied “Honey I do want to, but you know I can’t elope”

What's the saddest part about the relationship between a melon farmer and the girl who is allergic to melons?

They cant-elope!

What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?

Can't- elope!

What kind of fruit always has big weddings?

Can’t-elope

After hearing a speech on how to motivate employees,

the business owner posted signs that read "Do It Now" in every department
It was impossible for the employees not to see them all through the day.

A friend dropped by a week later. Seeing the signs, he asked if the scheme really worked.

"Well," said the business owner, "not exactly ...

What did the Melon King say to the two young melons in love?

They can't-elope.

Once upon a time a lonely ant met a handsome fish.

Once upon a time a lonely ant met a handsome fish. Despite everyone telling them it was wrong, they fell in love.

One day they eloped and moved into a cottage by a pond. Their only neighbor was Mr. Frog

They lived many happy years together and then something unexpected happened; they h...

Two melons: A Love Story

One day two melons were laying next to each other in the sunny field. The same thing is also going on in an alternate universe. Tom Melon looks over and sees the most beautiful melon he’s ever laid his melon eyes upon. “I have to get over there and say something to her” he thinks to himself. So he r...

Two melons are in love...

After decades of conflict and war, the people of Watermelon Kingdom and Cataloupe Country are trying to ease diplomatic tensions between their peoples. A student exchange program is started to foster cross-cultural understanding.

Through the exchange program, Wally Watermelon meets Cassandra...

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