UPJOKE
molestdiscriminationannoyintimidateprovokeharryplaguehasslechivvybesetchevychevvychivyragpersecute

Harass Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife complains about constantly being harassed at work

I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office if she doesn’t like it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They told me I have to do harassment training at work

Which is ridiculous, I’m already very good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man at my wife’s workplace has been harassing her, but honestly I feel like it’s her fault.

She’s the one who chose to work from home, and she knows how I feel about dat .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every job Medusa had, she had to go through harassment training.

She couldn’t stop objectifying people.

I caught my friend harassing some electricity...

I told him it was an abuse of power.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy 1: Why do you think it's ok to harass women?

Guy 2: I don't, her meant nothing to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a man talks dirty to a woman, it's harassment.

When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.50 a minute.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elon Musk is being accused of harassment…

I believe it, TSLA share price has been f**king me in the a$$ for months!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently got arrested for harassing a statue…

That’s when I hit rock bottom

I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose.

No one does that to a woman, not on my watch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

_al Harass_ _nt

All that's missing is "u" and "me".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All we need now is for someone to come forward and say EA has been harassing them

Actually, that applies to all of us. They've been us for years.

I was harassed in the bank...

...So I told them to leave me a loan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between flirting and harassment?

Whether or not the woman finds the man attractive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of the magician who harassed his showgirls?

His name was David Cop a Feel

i once lost my watch..

i once lost my watch at a party. after an hour of searching, i saw a guy harassing a woman while stepping on my watch. i immediately went to him, kicked him, and saved the woman. no one ever harasses a female, not on my watch



edit- damn this blew up like a time bomb

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the Hulk charged with harassment at Burger King?

He asked them to hold the pickle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lost my wristwatch at a party once. A guy stepped on it while harassing a girl.

I punched him straight in the chin, knocking him out. Nobody does that to a girl, not on my watch.

My friend was harassing me with bird puns

But toucan play at that game.

One morning Snow White said to her prince, "I haven't visited the seven dwarves in ages. I think I'll visit them for a week."

The next day, Snow white came back to the castle in a huff.

"Why are you back so early?" asked the prince.

"Grumpy harassed me," replied Snow White.

"What happened?"

"Well, as soon as I entered the cottage, he told me my hair smelled nice."

"That doesn't sound like...

Harassment.

So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

''Did you hear about the magician who was sued for harassment? ''

''No. What was his name?''

''David Cop-a-feel.''

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone got up and cheered when Bob was fired for harassment.

It was a touching farewell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was accused of harassment at work today.

When I told my wife she said, "Harassment what?"
I said, "I swear baby her meant nothing to me!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

David Blaine is being investigated for harassment.

Let's see if he can get out of that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got a harasser fired today

Is anyone hiring right now? Im a very hands on learner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why aren't we using Tide to prevent harassment?

After all, it deters gents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a harassed robot?

R2#metoo

Woman calls the cops to complain about a neighbour harassing her

The cop arrives at her apartment with a notebook in hand to take notes.
Cop: Yes Mam, tell me who’s this person and what are they doing ?

Woman: he lives in the flat one floor above and is constantly looking at me, when I’m in my bathroom. Such a creep.

Cop: ( a bit confused) can...

A conductor harassed a woman on his bus

Charges were filed and the judge sentenced him to death by electric chair.


But it had no effect because he was a bad conductor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really harassment."

Sally says, "He's...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Our boss called our team over to talk us about harassment

Turns out I’m pretty good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With all the stories about how everyone's being harassed

...I'm starting to think I might be ugly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a robot that harasses people?

R2 #metoo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today i got a memo from the HR for harassment..

All that happened was a female co-worker came wearing a t-shirt with the caption "GUESS"

So i said " might be 32C " ..

Q: What do small businesses cry when account executives harass them for money?

A: Yelp!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John the skeleton was fired for harassment

Employees of the firm filed complaints about his perpetual

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My workplace scheduled Harassment Training.

Needless to say, I was greatly disappointed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I reported a cashier to her management for harassing me

She was checking me out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the police to report harassment in the work place by a group of work colleagues.

He's a zoo keeper in the rhino enclosure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caitlyn Jenner is filing a Lawsuit for Harassment...

Claims that she's Constantly being Groped by Bruce Jenner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the first robot harassment case?

Yeah, it was R2Me2...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

harassment allegations have been made against Lou Bega

7 women have come forward and the assaults have been said to have taken place in varying locations including: in the sun and by his side

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dwarfs and Harassment

Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the coworker get charged with harassment on Valentine's Day?

Because he had a heart on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caitlyn Jenner just became the latest to expose another harasser.

She is alleging Bruce Jenner groped her about 10 years ago.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today at work we had a talk about harassment

Personally I thought it was a bit of a touchy subject.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard there's a new harassment class...

Being taught by Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, and Roger Ailes at Trump University. Women get in free.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does a woman’s leg count as harassment?

If so, my dog is gonna be facing a lot of allegations on Twitter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy named John Hitler was tired of people bullying him for his name so he went to the federal court and changed it hoping the harassments would stop.

But Peter Hitler is still getting bullied to this day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a pervert that aspires to be a harassment lawyer.

Ok, so I really just want to get myself off in court.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A middle manager was called into HR for a harmless ice breaker.

"Do you know why you've been sent here? One of your new employees, Gina, has levied harassment allegations against you". The stern HR rep asserted.

"What!? Gina!? Oh god, no this must be a mistake! I've only known her for a few days!" The manager replied perplexed and shocked.

"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my dust like I like my harassment allegations.

Swept under the rug.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Save yourself from a harassment case.

If a fellow employee asks, "Do you know a place I can get Off?". They may just need some bug spray.

I asked the librarian if he had any books on harassment.

He said "no" so I asked him 35 more times.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Driver, I believe that I was harassed!"

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised.

While the passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear,
"Driver, I believe that I was harassed!"

The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he...

A guy dies and gets to the pearly gates

where st peter asks him
"son, to let you into heaven you must tell me one good thing you've done on earth"
the guy thinks for a minute and replies
"well, this one time i saw some some bikers out the front of a bar harassing a girl. So I walked over to the biggest biker, kicked his bike over...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Telling a girl she has nice hair is not harassment

Unless you're a dwarf

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's only one thing I remember from harassment training.

"Harass" is just one word.

Yesterday, I saw a guy harassing a diabetic who recently had parts of his foot amputated.

I guess the first guy was lack toes intolerant.

My son gets harassed and abused by every single kid at his school.

He's being hyperboled.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman it's considered harassment.

But when a woman talks dirty to a man it's £2.50/min (charges may vary).

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL during the shooting of "Who framed Roger Rabbit?", Porky Pig was accused of harassing Tinkerbell

On contacting Porky Pig, he replied "Th- Th- Th- That's all Hoax!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had to file a harassment claim against a squirrel in the park yesterday...

...he wouldn't stop trying to grab my nut sack.

A man gets to heaven

He’s a small nerdy account type, and he’s met at the pearly gates by St Peter.

“Welcome,” says St Peter, opening a large book. “This book lists all the good things and bad things you did in your life. If you did more good than bad, you get to come in.”

“Sounds fair,” says the ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Amy Schumer claims that a big time producer, harassed her by asking her for a .

Turns out, he was just telling her she .

I was walking down the street when I saw a disabled man in a wheelchair being harassed...

so I stood up for him.

I lost my watch at a party.

After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody tre...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about harassment in the work place.

A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about harassment in the work place. After the presentation she asked, "Has anyone got any questions?"
I put my hand up and asked, "What colour knickers have you got on?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that Melvil Dewey, inventor of the Dewey Decimal system for organizing library collections, was known to be a serial harasser.

Someone really should've put him in his place.

What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common?

Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your is so small, that ...

Your is so small, that if you would harass someone, it would be a Micro aggression.
5 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.