My boss said that I intimidate my coworkers

I stared at him until he apologized.

Women must be intimidated by my ridiculously good looks.....

They all try to avoid me nowadays

How do you intimidate a trick or treater?

Booooo!

You probably dont get it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boris Johnson,Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are fishing..

Boris Johnson, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are fishing on the North Sea coast .

Boris Johnson starts to brag while looking at the Water : „We British have the best submarines in the World. Our subs can be submerged under water for over one month without refueling!“

Merkel is looking...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman, about to undergo an IRS audit, asked her accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let them think you are a pauper".

Then she asked her legal counsel the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your finest attire".

Utterly confused at this point, she went to her rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of her dilemma. "Let me tell you...

A man goes to prison and decides to intimidate his cell mate...

‘So, you wanna know why they call me mitochondria?’

What do you call it when someone can’t breath, and you’re too intimidated to try and help them?

Choking

Girls are probably really interested and just are too intimidated and shy to talk to you

And other hilarious jokes you can read by yourself at 3am

What do people who bite their fingers say to intimidate people?

I’m not scared of you, I eat nails for breakfast every day!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Jimmy got mixed in with a bad crowd and found himself headed to jail. Being his first time, he was a little intimidated by the things he’d heard, so he was looking for some advice.

His uncle was a colorful fellow and a world traveler, and Jimmy figured he probably knew his way out of a dangerous situation better than anyone else he knew. After Jimmy explained his predicament, the uncle said:

“Yeah, I reckon I have some advice. Some years ago I was overseas riding throu...

How to stop being intimidated by dates

Just think of them as big raisins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lady from Nextdoor just knocked and accused me of stealing washing from her line.

I was so intimidated I tell you, I nearly pissed her pants.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm always intimidated when I notice the bathroom stall I'm in is tagged by a gang.

Scares the shit out of me

Two groups of warriors are facing each other beafore a battle

Wanting to intimidate their foes, a swordsman takes out his handkerchief, throws it up into the air and deftly slices it into ribbons before it hits the ground.

Not wanting to be outdone, his opponent also takes out his handkerchief and throws it up in the air. The handkerchief flutters down...

A guy sits on a plane and realizes he’s sitting beside The Pope.

He’s too intimidated to say anything but after awhile The Pope taps him on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me my son, but I’m doing a crossword puzzle and I’m stuck. The clue is ‘a 4 letter word that you can call a woman’ and it ends with U-N-T.”

The man sits for a minute, stumped until he exc...

A citizen was cited for a tax investigation in the IRS.

Frightened, he asked his accountant how to dress.


-"Use rags, they'll think you're a beggar," the accountant replied.

When he asked his lawyer, he told him the exact opposite:

-'Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and most elegant tie'


Confused, t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Terrible Legend of Bahuda

Three explorers are making their way through a one of those generic jungles that always shows up in these sorts of jokes, when they are suddenly ambushed by a tribe of massive cannibals. (That's "massive" in the sense that they are very large, although they are also particularly passionate about eat...

When I meet a girl for the first time I shake hands with my left.

I don’t want to intimidate her with the competition right away

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink...

When a buff guy walks in staring down the entire bar. He walks up to me, grabs my drink and downs it. He slams the glass back onto the table so hard I thought it was gonna break . I looked in disbelief and he asks "What are you gonna do about it bitch?"

I start crying from being so intimidate...

I’m scared of Santa Claus

I’m intimidated by his presents.

A duck walks into a PC repair store...(long)

Just an ordinary day in life, without any sense for anything being unusual about its presence there, the duck waddles up to the counter, looks at the clerk and asks:
(duck) do you have breead?
(clerk) uh... No. This is a PC repair shop. We don't sell bread.
Dejected, the duck waddles back...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy meets a girl's father for the first time

A boy comes over to his girlfriend's house so he could take her out to a dance. There he meets her father for the first time. As the girlfriend gets ready, the boy nervously takes a seat in the living room with the father. No words are spoken as the boy waits, clearly intimidated by the older man. F...

The best way to earn money!

A man named John goes abroad to meet his old friend Mark he had not seen in a while.

As he arrives at the airport, goes outside, there, Mark is waiting in his private limousine.

John is a little amazed, but not anything special. As they arrive, John is impressed to see a giant mansion!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A New York writer is tired of all the people and noise of the big city

He believes that a quiet place will help him focus so that he can finish his novel. The man moves to an island in Northern Europe with pasture as far as the eye can see and no other houses for miles. After a year of writing he starts to feel lonely. Then, he hears a booming knock on his door. When h...

There once was a man named Ivan who lived with his family in a Siberian forest...

After years of living in the harsh region, Ivan became rough, tough, hard to bluff, and extremely used to hardship.

He was large, muscular, and able to chop down a fully grown Siberian pine tree with one swing of his axe. This came in handy as Ivan had to chop down many trees to be used as fi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Naive Priest in the Big City

There’s this young priest who’s spent virtually his entire life in a monastery. He is sent to work in one of the poorer areas of a big city. The priest has never seen a city so after settling into his new post he decides to take a long walk to explore things. A couple blocks away from the church he ...

There was once a group of Friars

Who began selling flowers instead of cheese. They found great success in this new calling, so much they were putting a local florist shop out of business.

The local florists were angry and decided to hire thugs to intimidate the friars into ceasing their flower sales. Thug after thug, no one...

Three guys are about to be executed.

One's a lawyer, one's a priest, and one's an engineer.

They bring out the lawyer first, put him under the guillotine, and pull the lever, but the blade gets stuck halfway down. The lawyer goes, "Ah-ha! By pulling the lever, you have technically carried out the execution, which according to th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Two young men got lost in the woods ...

Two young men got lost in the woods while on a hiking trip, and they stumble upon this old wooden shack, upon seeing a candle lit up near the window they figured someone must be living there.

The first boy walks up to the door and knocks three times. An old lady answers and ask the young boy<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sex-reassignment specialist is trying to simplify the names of surgical procedures...

He takes his nurse aside and explains "Lots of people come in here and get confused and intimidated by the medical jargon we use to explain the operations. From now on I want you to call male-to-female procedures "misterectomies".

The nurse is somewhat perturbed, but the specialist reassures...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God speaks to a man... and tells him to go to Vegas.

A man is sitting behind his desk at home when suddenly a voice from the heavens booms down at him. "Go to Las Vegas," it says. The man, thoroughly intimidated by the voice, books the quickest ticket to Vegas. When he arrives, God speaks again. "Go to the blackjack table!" The man walks to the neares...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] (language) The man with the timber eye

There's a fellow out there who's quite attractive-- by most standards, he'd be a perfect 10. But he has one flaw-- he's missing an eye, and he's too poor to afford a good prosthetic, so he's had it replaced with painted timber. It's a reasonably good job, and it's comfortable, but it's still clear t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.