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Israelites Jokes

Moses

Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.

“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the ...

Who led the Israelites through the semi permeable membrane?

Osmoses.

Moses was sent by the Israelites...

to the top of Mount Sinai to negotiate with God over the commandments. After a month of intense discussion, an exhausted Moses came down with a list of 200 commandments.

The Israelites, however, weren't happy with this, and sent him back up to negotiate a better deal.

A week later, a ...

What did the sweet potato say to the Israelites.

"I am but a Yam"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call homosexual Israelites?

Fruit Jews

What is the difference between an Israeli and an Israelite?

Israelites contain about 20% less fat.

King Pharaoh: I have a great business opportunity for you...

Israelites: Umm, is this not a pyramid scheme?

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

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