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Yum Jokes

Yum yum!

So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys" which to me sounded a bit obvious.

I cant remember the last time I ate a monkey...

If you're not supposed to eat in a chemistry lab

Then why do most of the elements end in yum?

I found a way to make cured sausage halal for Muslims to eat.

I offered it to an Imam for testing. He takes a bite and says "Ah, Salami okay, yum!"

What battery makes the best dessert?

Lithi - yums

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Utterly distraught, Sarah calls her best friend Carol.

"I-I w-was so convinced that my marriage with Ben was perfect, but n-n-ow I found out that he is cheating on me with another man"

"That's shocking!", Carol answers "Who is it?"

"I d-don't even know him. I only know that his name is Tom"

"Tom?"

"Y-yes, I overheard him cha...

Challenge

Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dog went on a backpacking trip to Africa and decided he'd spend a few days in the safari

During one of the days he got lost when suddenly he saw a tiger lurking in the nearby woods. Knowing he had no chance escaping the tiger, he rushed over to a nearby pile of old bones. As the tiger approached ready to devour him for breakfast, the dog turned its back to the tiger, resiliently stuck a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's this fly buzzing around in a barn...

This fly is buzzing around a barn when he finds a huge pile of cow manure. "Yum!" says the fly and he buzzes down to it and gorges himself until he's so full that his wings can't carry him anymore.

"That's alright," thinks the fly, "If I get a little air first then I'll be able to fly no prob...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Lollies

Harry Potter, Ron, and Hermione stop into Bertie Bott's shop one day. Bertie says, "I've been working on a new product called Every Flavour Lollies and I'm giving out free samples. And they have an extra surprise feature. Which flavour would you like to try?"

Ron gets a big smile and says, ...

Job Application Humor

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Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of ...

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