Did you hear the urban legend about the creepy ghost that appears when you use artificial sweetener?
He's called Splendaman.
When the sales guy at the pharmacy told me that they had unfortunately run out of tea sweeteners
I politely pointed to the homeopathic medicines aisle and said "No you have not."
I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked...
MAID: -What would you like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: -Tea pls.
MAID: -Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?
ME: -Ceylon Tea pls.
MAID: -How do you want it, black or white?...
There was a very well liked guy named Jimmy, and had always aspired to be a pilot, just like his dad.
Unfortunately, life took many rough turns for him in high school; one night while driving late one night, his tire blew out and he lost his right eye. Having only half his vision, his dreams of being a pilot were crushed, and he didn't know what to do with his life.
Jimmy, now fitted with a b...
I always wanted to be a sugar daddy....
...turns out I only have the money for being some sort of artificial sweetener daddy.
I use to call my wife "my sweet"
She developed diabetes.. So now I call her "my sweetener"