UPJOKE
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Yo Momma is so ugly

The government extended mask mandates to give everyone's eyes a break

Yo' Mama's so Fat...

I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas!

Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times.

Just like yo mamma

(from my 11 yo) What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone's head off with a lightsaber?

"I find your lack of face disturbing."

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Yo mammas so fat..

After sex, she smokes a turkey

Yo mama so stupid...

She put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.

yo mama so fat

That when she fell over no one laughed but the ground cracked up

Yo momma is SO slow….

That it took her 9 months to make a joke!

An 80 yo man is about to get married

His fianceè is only 20 yo and she is gorgeous. A couple of days before weeding, one of his friends gave him a warning:

- You are crazy! She is very young, she will cheat on you right after you get married! Why don't you marry a lady about your age?

He replied:

- I prefer to sha...

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Yo mamma so fat...

Her nude pics are too big to download

Yo mama jokes are classics

They’re kinda outdated, yet still enjoyed by many.

Just like yo mama.

Yo mamma so fat... if she was murdered her chalk outline would be a circle..

I know it's not mine. But just heard it for the first time the other day. Made me smile. What is your favorite yo mamma jokes? Would love to read them

Yo’ Mama

Is so fat no one talks about her behind her back because no one can walk that far.

Yo mama so big, the stork couldn't carry her...

They needed a *crane*.

Yo mamas so ugly

Her portraits hang themselves

Yo mama’s so fat….

Thanos had to snap twice!

hit me with your best yo momma joke. I'll go first.

Yo momma so nasty even the crabs done migrated.

Yo mama so fat...

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her

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A rabbit is running around the woods

When he encounters and elephant, who was just about to light a joint.

The rabbit yells: "No!! Are you seriously gonna throw your life away like that? Come run with me, that's way more healthy!!"

So the elephant starts running with the rabbit, they run through the woods until they enco...

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Yo mama so fat..

I ate her ass and had leftovers for a week.

Yo Mama is so dumb she thinks there has been......

eleven World Wars

Yo mama so strong

The Rock calls her The Paper

Yo Mama so Ugly....

that she walked into a haunted house and came out with a job application

Yo mama so ugly

She made blind kids cry.

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl...

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

"It's simple" billionaire boasts... "I faked my age"

"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, ...

Yo mama is so fat.

Her weight loss program was featured on: Top 10 failed megaprojects.

yo mama so fat…

when god made light he asked her to move out of the way

(I know those jokes arent popular anymore but my 12 yo came up with this one)

Yo mama so FAT

She eats her dinner off of the tectonic plates!

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Yo Mama...

...is so nasty, I had phone sex with her and she gave me an ear infection.

What’s the difference between yo mamma and a Walrus?

One is fat, stinks of fish and has a moustache. And the other is a walrus

Yo mama jokes thread

What are some of the best "Yo mama" jokes of recent times?


I'll go first: Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mamma so fat

Ed Sheeran had a stroke trying to sing the shape of her

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy

it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Happy Mother's Day weekend

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Yo momma so fat…

When she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips

Nine Words

Once upon a time, long before any type of writing or sign language there lived an attractive young prince.

This prince, through no fault of his own, was cursed by a witch such that he was only allowed to say one word per year.

Fortunately, however, he WAS allowed to save up his words.<...

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Yo Mama's so old... and stupid... and fat.

Yo Mama's so old she remembers when Captain Caveman was a lieutenant,

yo Mama's so old, when she went to school history class was just one paragraph.

yo Mama's so stupid, she has a glow in the dark sundial in her garden,

yo Mama's so stupid she went to the Dentist to fix her Blu...

Yo mama so fat .....

.....they had to bring down the
rainforest when she ordered a salad

Yo mama is such a Karen

Her self-entitlement has its own reserved parking space in front of Walmart

You will never ever hear A HINDU tell YO MAMMA JOKE

BEcause we consider cows to sacred.

Yo' mama so fat

Einstein did a separate theory for her.

Yo mama jokes will always remain a classic.

Yo mama so fat, it takes a substation transformer to power her defibrillator.

Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2?

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

Yo mamma so heavy...

it takes a Ukrainian tractor to pull her.

Yo mama so poor

When people come to the door she gotta stick her head out and say “Ding, Dong!”

Yo momma is so ugly

Your dad wakes up with morning wouldn’t

Yo mama so fat…

That when she went to [insert foreign country] she became [home country]’s largest export

Yo mama so dumb,

She got fired from the M&M's production line for throwing away the W's

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Two guys, Billy and Bob, head out in the woods, hunting for bear...

They hike to where their tree stand is, in the thickest part of the forest, set their bait, climb into the stand, hunker down and wait. Before too long, a small black bear comes by to check out the bait, and the hunters shoot it dead. They climb down and begin the work of butchering the carcass, whe...

Yo momma so fat

She only needs a single cup of water to fill up her bath

Yo mama so ugly

She entered a Miss America pageant and nearly lost her citizenship.

Yo momma is so dumb

That she tried to drown herself on a pool table

Yo mama is so poor

That she cant even pay attention

Yo momma so fat

she is seven out of ten fattest people I know!

A‌‌n America‌‌n soldier‌‌, servin‌‌g i‌‌n Worl‌‌d Wa‌‌r I‌‌I ha‌‌d jus‌‌t returne‌‌d fro‌‌m severa‌‌l week‌‌s o‌‌f battl‌‌e o‌‌n th‌‌e Germa‌‌n fron‌‌t lines.

Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London.

Th‌‌e trai‌‌n wa‌‌s ver‌‌y crowded‌‌, s‌‌o th‌‌e soldie‌‌r walke‌‌d th‌‌e lengt‌‌h o‌‌f th‌‌e trai‌‌n i‌‌n hope‌‌s o‌‌f findin‌‌g a‌‌n empt‌‌y seat.

Th‌‌e on...

Alcoholic, women lover and weed smoker go to hell

The Satan says them: "you can get out if you'll spend 100 years in a room with your main addictions".

He shows the alcoholic a room with lots of alcohol. Alcoholic says: "ok, i'll spend 100 years here".

Then he shows a women lover a room with beautiful young women.
He says "ok, i'll...

Yo mama

Yo mama's so fat her blood type is A1

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears yellow...

I praise the Sun.

Yo Mamma is like the inventor of the steamboat

They’re both a Fulton

Yo mama so fat...

When she needs furniture she goes to a blacksmith.

Yo mamma so ugly

She looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Yo mama so fat

Yo mama so fat she butt dialed me from a phone booth.

Everyone calls yo mama smoker.

‘Cause they all hang their meat there.

Yo momma so fat...

When she's tanning at the beach, Greenpeace comes with 3 busses to pull her back in the water...

Yo mama is so nasty..

They used to eat her out on Fear Factor.

yo mama is so gross

that when i told her to 'do the robot' r2-d2 got herpes

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A man enters a pub, walks up to have a seat at the bar, and then pulls out a three-inch tall leprechaun from his front shirt pocket to set it on the bar top.

The man looks at the bartender and says, "Yo, I'd like to get a beer for me and an Irish wine for my little pal here!"


The bartender returns with the drinks in short time. The man drinks his beer, the leprechaun drinks all the Irish wine from the bottle. Only for it to suddenly stop in ...

Yo mama so fat

When she took her pants to the dry cleaners the lady said, "we don't do curtains."

Yea gas prices are going up but there’s still one thing that goes down every day

Yo mama

Made up by my son…

Yo mama so ugly when she looks in the mirror all she sees is a deflection.

A comedian opened his act by saying "Yo, Adrian!"

His show had a rocky start.

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Yo momma's so fat

When she gives a blowjob it is classified as a class 5 hurricane.

Yo mamma so ugly...

The whole world faked a virus just to get a mask on her face.

Yo momma’s so fat…

it’s not even funny.

Yo mamma's so fat

They had to take her passport photo with Google earth.

Yo mama is so fat

She went out in high heels, and came back in flip flops

Yo mama so fat it's hilarious

I'm not laughing but the floor is cracking up

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Me and my buddies stayed up all night telling Yo Mama jokes.

She was laughing her fat ass off.

Yo Mama so fat

I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas

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Yo mama so fat

The strip club calls her Hitler after all the damage she's done to the poles.

Every “yo mamma” joke has been done thousands of time, by thousand of people.

Kinda like yo mamma.

Yo Mama so fat

If she were in Star Wars she would be Admiral Snackbar

Yo mama so fat. . .

I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.

Biden and Barack don't tell each other "yo mama" jokes...

they tell each other Jo 'Bama jokes.



(I'm sorry, it's terrible)

Crossing

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.

Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The throng surged across B...

Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?

Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.

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Yo momma so ugly…

The only reason you got into USC is because she promised to not give the rowing coach a blow job.

Yo mama so dumb

She thought an IP address was RKelly's house

Yo momma is so stupid

She studied for a drug test

Yo momma so fat...

She is considered a carbohydrate based life form.

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