UPJOKE
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Yo Jokes

Yo mama so ugly

When she sits on her phone, it unlocks.

Yo mamas so ugly

Her portraits hang themselves

Yo mama joke I thought of it

Yo mama is so fat and old that she’s still eating from the last supper.





Edit : Jesus Christ this blew up. Didn’t know so many of you had to release yo mamas from your system.

Yo momma so fat, it wasn't the stork that brought her

It was the crane!

Yo mama so fat

her pronouns are Hershey

Yo momma is so fat…

…her car has stretch marks.

Yo Mama so fat, when she breaks a plate…

It’s usually of the tectonic variety.

Yo Mama So Fat...

She went skydiving and got stuck.

Yo mamas so fat....

She starts the alphabet with O B C D

Yo mama so old

Her chiropractor a paleontologist

Yo mama so slow...

it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Yo mama is so fat that…

She needs to wear a watch on both wrists because of time zone difference.

Yo momma so fat, I pictured her in my head

And she broke my neck.

Yo mama so fat...

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her

Yo Momma is so fat...

When she's walking down the street, cops driving by scream out, "Hey you two --break it up!"

Yo mama's so fat

she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops

Yo mama so fat. . .

I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.

Yo mama so dumb

that she spent 5 hours staring at a glass of orange juice because it said ‘concentrate’ on the package.

Yo mama so fat...

The only scale she could use is the Richter Scale

Yo momma so fat

I tried driving around her and ran out of gas.

When she steps on a scale it says 'please, one at a time'

Yo Mama so fat that when she slid into my DMs….

My phone ran out of space.

Yo mama so fat

when she eats Taco Bell, she gets the walks.

Yo mama so dumb...

...she tells yo mama jokes to you and your siblings.

Yo mamma’s so ugly...

Yo daddy takes her to work with him every day so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo mama...

So dyslexic even her blood is Type-O

Yo mama’s so fat

When she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2?

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

What's the difference between Yo Momma and a water buffalo?

About 25 pounds.


How do you change that?


Force-feed the buffalo or shave yo momma.


(I almost feel bad for trotting out a joke older than most Redditors but I can't.)

Yo mama is so fat, that if she could communicate with the dead…

… she wouldn’t be called a medium, but an extra large.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo mama so fat, they did a story on how fat she was on the channel 3 news

I switched to channel 7 and you could still see her ass in the corner of the screen

Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?

Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.

Yo Momma so fat.......

When she travels by bus, it becomes a cab.

Yo mamma so fat

Her favourite soccer team is Hamburg

Yo momma is so fat ...

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times..

Just like yo mamma

Yo Momma works in IT...

as a disk format cause she's FAT32

Yo mama so fat

She has a watch for every time zone she's in,
When she walks past the tv, you miss 8 seasons,
She beat galactus in a planet-eating contest,
Thanos couldn't snap her out of existence,
Flash died before he could do a lap around her
And she ate a black hole because she was hungry

Yo mama was so fat

It takes a week to mow her burial plot.

As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning...

Him: What's a pirates favorite letter?
Me: ARRRGH!
Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the "C"!

Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people.

Kinda like yo momma.

Yo Mama Joke by a Physics Professor

Yo Mama is so fat you can see the objects that are directly behind her

Yo mama so fat

she outta breath from taking the escalator.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 11 yo just made this up....

If grasshoppers eat grass, what do cockroaches eat?

Yo Momma is so ugly

The government extended mask mandates to give everyone's eyes a break

Yo mama so ugly...

she walked into a haunted house and came out with a job application!

(from my 11 yo) What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone's head off with a lightsaber?

"I find your lack of face disturbing."

Yo Mama So Fat

When she takes a bath she doesn't use any water and it still overflows!

Yo mama's so fat

when she sat on a memory foam it forgot

Yo momma is so vegan and fat...

..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.

Yo momma so fat...

Her blood type is A ... & W

Yo momma is so ugly

Your dad wakes up with morning wouldn’t

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of teenagers were getting into a yo mama fight

And everyone was getting into it except the indian boy at the back.

When asked why he wouldn't participate
He replied: "I too would make fun of your mothers but in my culture disrespecting cows is frowned upon."

Yo momma, she so fat...

there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.

Yo mama so fat

When she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up

Yo mamma so fat... if she was murdered her chalk outline would be a circle..

I know it's not mine. But just heard it for the first time the other day. Made me smile. What is your favorite yo mamma jokes? Would love to read them

Yo mama is so ugly

Bill Cosby gave her a roofie-less drink.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo mama is so dumb...

...She refused to give your dad a blowjob because she thought he'd lose his unemployment benefit.

Yo momma so fat

her tailor uses mattress sizes

Yo Mama's so old ...

her dating service is named Carbon.

Yo Momma is so old…..

she is a United States Senator.

Yo momma so old…

when I made love to her I was charged with desecrating a historical landmark

Yo mama might have covid.

She has no taste, nobody wants to be around her, and she really should put on a mask.

Yo mama's so narcissistic...

She makes cupcakes for your class on her birthday!

Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless

Just like me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo momma like soft butter

She'll spread for bread.

Yo mama so fat that

She uses Macrowave instead of microvave.

Yo mama so fat

Every time she's about to jump in the pool God says: "Noah, get the boat NOW"

Yo Mama so old...

Her first cruise was on Noah's Ark.

Yo mama so fat

She ate her laptop because the website said it had cookies in it.

Yo momma's so fat

She uses the highway as a water slide

What’s your favorite “yo mamma” joke?

One of my favorites: your mama’s armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama soo dumb

Yo mama soo dumb she waves at train to stop

Yo mama so fat...

When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.


Gimme your best yo mama jokes.

Yo mama so oily...

The US tried to invade her!

Yo mama's so fat

When she goes to the beach the tide comes in, but she's so ugly that it goes back out

[Edit] typo

Yo mama's so fat...

...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo momma so fat

Vader had to use both his hands to choke the bitch.

Yo mamma is so stupid...

She went to buy pictures at Adobe Photoshop

You'll never hear a Hindu tell a Yo Mamma joke...

They consider cows to be sacred.

Yo momma so stupid

When your dad asked her to turn on the fan she started stripping.

Yo mama so old...

In school, history was called present.

Yo momma so fat...

...when she goes jogging, she leaves potholes.

Yo mama so ugly…

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!

YO momma so nasty...

She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

Yo mama jokes thread

What are some of the best "Yo mama" jokes of recent times?


I'll go first: Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama's so fat

Her nose can't even run




Came up with this myself and was quite proud

Yo moma is so fat

She took a driving test, when the examiner said drive through, she responded with, I'll take 5 big macs, 20 mcnuggets, and a large coke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo Mama is like a bowling ball

She likes it when you fill all her holes and when your done with her you can throw her in the gutter and the bitch always comes back for more.

Yo mamma is so old…

…that her social security number is written with Roman numerals.

Yo mama...

...has less class than a marxist utopia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo' mama is so fat

That she sends me nudes via torrent

Yo girl, are you my appendix?

Because I don't really understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

Yo momma's glasses are so thick...

... when she looks at maps, she can see people waving back at her.

yo mama so cheap

She tried to bargain with a vending machine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo mama so fat

The strip club calls her Hitler after all the damage she's done to the poles.

Yo Mama's so hairy...

Her dandruff shampoo is called "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"

Yo mama is so fat..

..when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Yo mama so fat...

...she had an heart attack while running an app.

The Harshest "Yo Mamma" Joke...

Yo Mamma is like a bowling ball...

She likes to get picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, then comes back for more.

Yo Mama so OLD

She met Gary Oldman when he was Gary Numan.

\-MPL

Yo' mama is so dirty...

She did the Tide Pod challenge and vanished

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