A son walks into his fathers room to find him eating a bad of potato chips. He kindly asks his father if he could have some.
His father replies “well son, can your dick touch your ass?”
The boy seems puzzled and replies with a simple “no?” and his father explains they’re his and the bo...
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A bouncer is working on a Saturday night at a popular nightclub for household utensils...
... One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him.
As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The bouncer immediately lets him in.
The mirror rolls his eyes as the toilet pushes through.
Next, a limo pulls up and ...
A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, "Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?"
His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, "Yes."
He asks, "Whose is it?"
His wife replies, "Yours!"
What do you call a pickaxe that's yours?
It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland. As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill;
It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland. As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill; "One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!" The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it. There is gunfire for a minute and then...