Yo Mama Jokes

When she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

When she sits on her phone, it unlocks.

Yo mama is so fat and old that she’s still eating from the last supper.





Edit : Jesus Christ this blew up. Didn’t know so many of you had to release yo mamas from your system.

it took her 9 months to make a joke.

her pronouns are Hershey

It’s usually of the tectonic variety.

She went skydiving and got stuck.

she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops

So dyslexic even her blood is Type-O

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her

The only scale she could use is the Richter Scale

She needs to wear a watch on both wrists because of time zone difference.

that she spent 5 hours staring at a glass of orange juice because it said ‘concentrate’ on the package.

...she tells yo mama jokes to you and your siblings.

She starts the alphabet with O B C D

My phone ran out of space.

I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.

Her portraits hang themselves

when she eats Taco Bell, she gets the walks.

She has a watch for every time zone she's in,
When she walks past the tv, you miss 8 seasons,
She beat galactus in a planet-eating contest,
Thanos couldn't snap her out of existence,
Flash died before he could do a lap around her
And she ate a black hole because she was hungry

she outta breath from taking the escalator.

Her chiropractor a paleontologist

.... Just like yo mama.

i pictured her in my head and she broke my neck

she walked into a haunted house and came out with a job application!

When she takes a bath she doesn't use any water and it still overflows!

Every time she's about to jump in the pool God says: "Noah, get the boat NOW"

Yo Mama is so fat you can see the objects that are directly behind her

when she sat on a memory foam it forgot

When she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up

her dating service is named Carbon.

She has no taste, nobody wants to be around her, and she really should put on a mask.

If Bill Cosby found her unconscious he’d call the paramedics

She makes cupcakes for your class on her birthday!

She uses Macrowave instead of microvave.

Just like me

She asked, "Is it mine?"

She ate her laptop because the website said it had cookies in it.

The US tried to invade her!

when she goes to the beach, Greenpeace shows up to try and drag her back into the ocean.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!

What are some of the best "Yo mama" jokes of recent times?


I'll go first: Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Her first cruise was on Noah's Ark.

When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.


Gimme your best yo mama jokes.

In school, history was called present.

...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie.

That scientists call her "The Great Attractor"

Her nose can't even run




Came up with this myself and was quite proud

When she gives someone a piece of her mind, it's considered particle decay.

The earth was actually flat until they buried her.

they tell each other Jo 'Bama jokes.



(I'm sorry, it's terrible)

Her dandruff shampoo is called "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"

… that ducks throw bread at her.

She met Gary Oldman when he was Gary Numan.

\-MPL

Because of Gravitational Lensing.

Even Ripley couldn’t believe it.

...she had an heart attack while running an app.

Saw this joke today, it’s from the 1400’s

A young Florentine was going down to River Arno with one of
those nets in which they wash wool, and met a frolicsome boy,
who, out of fun, asked him what birds he was going to catch with
that net of his? "I am going to the Brothel's outlet,"... read more

Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask

Her weight loss program was featured on: Top 10 failed megaprojects.

That she cant even pay attention

... I told her to act her age, and she died.

They’re kinda outdated, yet still enjoyed by many.

Just like yo mama.

...that she's currently rolling over in her gravy.

She heard there was a sale on color TVs, and she tried to buy a green one.

when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 80 years to live.

They needed a *crane*.

Yo mama's so fat her blood type is A1

When people come to the door she gotta stick her head out and say “Ding, Dong!”

her carbon footprint turned to diamond.

She’s got a great sense of humour. Send my love.

That when she went to [insert foreign country] she became [home country]’s largest export

Yo mama so fat, it takes a substation transformer to power her defibrillator.