Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont think twice..

Call a girl fat once and she’ll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart?

...because its not a Target.

I had a vasectomy so I wont have any kids...

Just got back home and they are still here...

Why wont Demi Lovato play soccer?

She cant seem to kick anything

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why wont ducks squat?

They don’t want people to see their butt-quack

Why wont Apple ever make a car?

Because it can't have windows in it!!!!

You wont hear a pterodactyl urinate

..because its pee is silent

I wont let the load of one small murder weigh me down...

... because I'm a mass murderer.

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