UPJOKE
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My Bluetooth speaker wasn't working so I threw it into the lake...

Now it's syncing.

LG's new Bluetooth department is very progressive

Everyone there is LGBT

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Every night, the sounds of loud aggressive pornography blast from my neighbours’ apartment.

We’ve tried talking about it but I don’t care what they say; I’m not disconnecting from their Bluetooth speakers.

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Before I went to sleep last night.

I put my phone under my pillow.

When I woke up it was gone and there was a $1 coin in it's place.

Fucking Bluetooth Fairy!

How does a pirate set up a Bluetooth speaker?

Parrot with his phone

What is a Bluetooth device's favorite kind of story?

A pairable

There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored?

The turn signals.

If duct taping a Matchbox Trans Am to one's ear and pretending it's a Bluetooth device is wrong, then maybe—

hang on... I've gotta take this.

If you think the Bluetooth speaker in the shower changed your life,

you haven't tried the stereo.

My friend told me that for minimal lag i should use an analogue connection instead of Bluetooth for my speaker system....

Sound advice.

What do you call a prehistoric striped cat with a bluetooth headset?

A cybertoothed tiger

I think I'm a great match-maker

I paired my Bluetooth earbuds with my phone, and they connected instantly

What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?

A pairing knife

People dating are like Bluetooth devices

They're supposed to pair up and connect but it hardly ever works

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Yo Mama's so old... and stupid... and fat.

Yo Mama's so old she remembers when Captain Caveman was a lieutenant,

yo Mama's so old, when she went to school history class was just one paragraph.

yo Mama's so stupid, she has a glow in the dark sundial in her garden,

yo Mama's so stupid she went to the Dentist to fix her Blu...

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Victoria's Secret recently invented a bra that contains Bluetooth speakers ...

... because so many women had complained that men stare at their breasts instead of listening to them.

Why don't Bluetooth devices swim?

Because they're always trying to sync.

(My dad wrote this joke, just wanted to share it somewhere)

Men Are Like Bluetooth

Men Are Like Bluetooth…

Always Connected When Wife Is Around…
The Moment Wife Is Away…

They Automatically Starts Searching For New Devices…

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I tried to submit a patent for a gold-plated, Bluetooth-ready butt plug, but Steve Jobs beat me to it.

It turns out he's already making overpriced toys for assholes!

What Is Bluetooth ?

When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing

What's the difference between Bluetooth and The Titanic?

The Titanic sinks.

What do you get when you eat a blackberry?

A Bluetooth

*Joke at my local farmers market

Why did the engineers of the Titanic II make sure to include a solid Bluetooth system?

They didn't want the ship to get stuck syncing again.

Funniest thing my gf has ever said

We were at a a red light and i noticed a woman in the car behind me making a lot of arm and hand motions. No one was in the car with her (probably on bluetooth).

Me: Hey babe look at this woman behind us. What is she doing? She's just flailing her arms around but there isn't any one with her...

Love should be like Bluetooth

When you are close, the status should be.....connected
When away...searching for a new device

A Man Goes to the Doctor

A cancer patient anxiously awaits his doctor, who enters with his test results.

“Give it to me straight, doc,” he pleads. “How long have I got?”

“Ten,” says the doctor.

“Ten what? Months? Days? Years?” The patient cries.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the doctor continues. “That was...

I didn’t know I had to actually put my electric toothbrush in my mouth!?!

I thought it was Bluetooth.

What does a mouse play his music with?

A bluetooth squeaker.

David and Shane worked for a small furniture company which had recently developed a new product.

They had been developing a new kind of smart shelf, and it was finally finished. This shelf had everything! Part of it featured a built in wireless charger, there were USB ports, part of it could flip up to reveal a screen which could be used as digital picture frame as well as had access to YouTube...

I was listening to my wireless headphones while the dentist was working on my teeth.

He needed to tell me something so he pulled out my earbud.

It was a Bluetooth extraction.

Implantable Headphones

The past few years, people have been circulating articles saying that we'll all have to get chip implants under Obamacare. They reference the book of Revelation and say it's the mark of the beast. But I got to thinking; in-ear headphones get annoying and over-ears aren't that portable. So in the fut...

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My Wife is missing.

Husband:

My wife is missing.

She went out yesterday and has not come home...



Sergeant at Police Station:

What is her height?



Husband:

Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.



Sergeant:

Weight?



Husb...

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I was in the toilet when my friend sent me a porn video

I played it, no sound, I increased the volume to the highest still no sound, so I didn't bother.

I watched it for about 8 minutes before I remembered, my phone was connected to the Bluetooth player in the living room with my family and our guests are waiting for me.

I've been in the to...

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Yo mama jokes

Yo mama so stupid that when saw a bus full of white kids she said "Stop that twinkie!!".

Yo mama so dumb that she went to the dentist to get a bluetooth.

Yo mama so stupid that when she heard that there was a serial killer on the loose, she hid all of her cherios.

Yo mama so fat...

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