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Receiver Jokes

Former Chicago Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd was released from federal prison today.

That makes two Cocaine Bears getting released this weekend.

A Frenchman, an Italian and a Russian all end up in hell. The Frenchman begs to make one last call home to see how his family is coping. The devil says fine, it’ll cost you an extra thousand years in the flames. The Frenchman agrees, and tearfully listens to his wife doing his brother.

The Italian begs to call home to see how his daughters are doing. That’ll be an extra thousand years in the flaming pit, says the devil. So be it, says the Italian, and weeps as he listens to his children selling the farm.


Now I want to call home, says the Russian, and grabs the receiv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife are sound asleep in bed when the phone rings. The man picks up, listens for a second and says, “How the fuck would I know, you idiot? I’m not a weatherman,” before slamming down the receiver.

“Who was that?” asks his wife.
“Wrong number. It was some bastard asking if the coast was clear.”

A young girl.

A young girl, who was writing a paper for school, came to her father and asked...

"Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?"

The father replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree."

"Let me show you what I mean... "

With that, the father went to the tele...

There once was a wide receiver who didn't run

That's why he was wide

Bought a receiver for 99.75 $ yesterday

Got a quarter back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

Husband went to the sheriff's department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband went to the sheriff's department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight...

What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna?

A Golden Receiver.

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