My wingman won't stop quoting from Reboot whenever we go to the bars.
He approaches a group of ladies before me and tells them: "Warning incoming game"
A teacher asks her students what they want to be when they grow up
Sheldon: I want to be a doctor!
Leonard: I want to be a firefighter!
Bernadette: I want to be a mother!
Howard (*in a flirty tone*): I want to help Bernadette become a mother
Bernadette : Great! You can be my wingman then!
Michael Keaton took roles like Batman, Birdman, and now the Vulture from the new Spider Man movie
I guess you can say he's a good wingman.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
On the way out of mass...
On the way out of mass, Steve asks Jason: "I've wanted to fuck the pastor's stunning wife for the longest time, can you do me a favor and keep the pastor at confession for like half an hour so I can go nail her?
Jason, ever the wingman, agrees, and proceeds to the confession booth. After a fe...
Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class
Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class to talk about his experiences. He tells the class, "I remember one time, me and my squadron was comin' back from escortin' some B-17 and we're almost over the Channel, when one a dem Fokkers come out of a cloud..." A few kids chuckle ...
Topical Jokes (5/20)
Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.
Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...