I have a Greek friend who is a horrible wingman

so we call him Icarus

My wingman won't stop quoting from Reboot whenever we go to the bars.

He approaches a group of ladies before me and tells them: "Warning incoming game"

A teacher asks her students what they want to be when they grow up

Sheldon: I want to be a doctor!

Leonard: I want to be a firefighter!

Bernadette: I want to be a mother!

Howard (*in a flirty tone*): I want to help Bernadette become a mother

Bernadette : Great! You can be my wingman then!

Michael Keaton took roles like Batman, Birdman, and now the Vulture from the new Spider Man movie

I guess you can say he's a good wingman.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the way out of mass...

On the way out of mass, Steve asks Jason: "I've wanted to fuck the pastor's stunning wife for the longest time, can you do me a favor and keep the pastor at confession for like half an hour so I can go nail her?

Jason, ever the wingman, agrees, and proceeds to the confession booth. After a fe...

Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class

Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class to talk about his experiences. He tells the class, "I remember one time, me and my squadron was comin' back from escortin' some B-17 and we're almost over the Channel, when one a dem Fokkers come out of a cloud..." A few kids chuckle ...

Topical Jokes (5/20)

Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.

Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...

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