I bought a pair of drums without any drumsticks, so I decided to bolt them together.

I figured if you can't beat them, join them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a chicken drumstick and a penis?

If you answered “I don’t know”? Then would you like to go for a picnic?

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?

Drumsticks for everyone!

A man walks into a bar and notices a live band is playing...

A man walks into a bar and notices a live band is playing. After watching them for a bit he leans over to the bartender and says, "Hey, these guys are pretty good, but I can't help noticing the drummer keeps swinging at air with his drumsticks. Why is he doing that?"

The bartender responds "Y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy driving down a highway sees a chicken with three legs overtaking him. He floors it

and the chicken stays ahead of him. He’s never seen anything like it, so he follows the chicken but it speeds up, 60, 80, 100 mph! He can barely keep it in sight, but sees it get off the highway and then, at the last second, sees it dash into a farmyard. He skids to a stop and sees the chicken run u...

The Horse, the Cow and the Pig.

There once was a barn with 3 best friends who happened to be a Horse, a Pig, and a Cow.

They are together listening to the radio through the window of the barn and the Horse hears am the guitar and he says “ hey I really love the guitar, you know what I’m gonna learn it”, so he goes off and l...

So there was an angry band director...

His band wasn’t super good, but they managed. One day, they were rehearsing, when a flute player messes up a part. They keep messing it up, and he gets so frustrated he stabs the flautist to death with his baton.
He goes to prison, and gets sentenced to death by electric chair. Before he goes in...

How the Internet started according to the bible.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was Christmas time in the concentration camp..

And the Nazis figured that they would have a bit of fun with the “inmates”.

So they roasted up a huge duck, filled with veggies, plums, sauce and glazed with butter.


They walk in to the yard and place the duck, as the Jews gathered around to see what was going on.

They tol...

A middle-aged man has a mid-life crisis, and, predictably, buys a Ferrari.

A middle-aged man has a mid-life crisis, and, predictably, buys a Ferrari. He goes for a drive, and decides he wants to see how fast he can get his new super car.

He drives out to the country, where he opens up the throttle. 100km/h. 150km/h. 200km/h! He is absolutely flying.

All of ...

I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums.

He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.

What's the difference between a turkey and Def Leppard?

A turkey has two drumsticks

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.

**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.

1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three legged chicken

A real estate agent from the city is driving down a county road looking for the place he is to meet a new client. He looks out the window and sees a three legged chicken running beside him in the ditch.
He is amazed that as he looked at the speedometer in his car and he's doing 40 mph, all the w...

Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner!

A guy is driving down a country road when suddenly a chicken darts into the road ahead of him. He swerves to miss it but is pretty sure he hit it. When he looks in the rearview mirror, though, he doesn't see the chicken. When he looks back forward, he sees that the chicken is running ahead of the ca...

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car, moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe.

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe. When checking his rear-view mirror he noticed that a small object followed by a trail of dust was closing fast. His curiosity piqued he slowed a bit to get a better look. As the object came into ...

Sometimes I think about how hard I want to bang

other days, I'm mostly depressed because I am a drumstick.

Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because he brought his own drumsticks

Three men are shipwrecked...

... they drift towards an island unconsciously. They awake to be taken captive by a local cannibalistic tribe. The tribe chief tells the first man that the tribe will eat his meat, and he is to chose his own death. The man thinks about it and decides decapitation. So he is decapitated.

The ch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse

April fools! It was just a drumstick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 legged chickens.

A man was driving down a country lane one day when he looked into a farmer's field and noticed that all of the chickens in the field had 3 legs. He became curious as to why all of the chickens had 3 legs, so he pulled into the farmer's driveway, walked up the house, and knocked on the door. When th...

I've compiled my bucket list.

I've compiled my bucket list.
4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.