I'm fair-skinned.

I have tattoos of ferris wheels, tilt-a-whirls and sno-cones.

A woman gets home, whirls her car into the driveway, runs into the house, and yells,

"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband says, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

The wife yells back, "It doesn't matter....just get the hell out!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A team of engineers are unveiling their new invention to a navy admiral

“So from what I can see, it appears to just be a normal submarine” the Admiral says.

“Quite far from it...” the lead engineer responds, “... while it may appear to be your standard submarine. It has quite the trick up it’s selves”

“Well what is it”, the Admiral says excitedly.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny Goes To School...

Little Johnny goes to school and after only 15 minutes, the teacher tells them that whoever can identify the speaker one of three quotes can go home. Johnny couldn't believe it, he was smart enough, he could go home after only 15 minutes of school!

So the teacher says "I'll start out with an ...

Who's King of the Jungle??!

This lion is prancing through the jungle bein' all proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decides to make sure all the other animals knows he's king of the jungle. He was so confident that he bypassed the smaller animals and went straight to the bear.

Grabs the bear by the...

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