World tounge-twisting champion was just arrested.

It is expected that he will be given a really tough sentence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is driving through Nevada and sees a sign along the road with a large cross and the words "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution, 5 miles ahead."

He shakes his head and thinks "I must have read that wrong."

He continues on and a few minutes later see another sign, this one with a praying nun on it and the words "Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution, Next Exit. So Good It's Miraculous!"

He decides he has to see this so he pull...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is having sex after twisting an ankle called?

Fucking lame

My Dad tried twisting the wicks of a handful of firecrackers together and accidentally pulled them out. I told him to stop and not try to fix them, it wasn't safe.

He refused two.

Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”

He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”

I have fetish for twisting up water hoses

Some would call it a kink

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into a forest..

He spoke to the Oak Tree: Your branches come over each other, twisting and turning. I feel inclined to ask you why?


The Oak Tree replied: Thank you for asking! These branches house the nests of birds, and gives plentiful wood for you humans! I can allow you to take them if you like. <...

My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place...

My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.”

I looked my daughter, square in the eyes and said, “What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.”

My wife hasn’t asked me to do anything since.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American tourist is riding his mountain bike at breakneck speed down a narrow, twisting trail in the Swiss Alps

As he goes to pass a local woman tending to her farm animals in a small field, she turns and yells at him, "PIG!!!!"

The guy is a bit stunned, because the Swiss are usually polite and reserved. But he feels offended, and turns his head and yells back at her, "BITCH!!!"

As he rounds th...

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