UPJOKE
spitefulselfishvengefulrevengefuldespitefulmaliciousunforgivingdeceitfulcallousarrogantheartlessdishonestmanipulativeegotisticaldevious

My girlfriend wants to dump me -- she says I'm too vindictive

We'll see about that.
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What do you call a vindictive jacket?

A petticoat.
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They say if you get stung by a jellyfish, you're supposed to pee on it.

But I'm just not that vindictive.
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