UPJOKE
insinceredisingenuoussanctimonioushypocriteshortsighteddisrespectfulcontemptuousarrogantcondescendingirresponsibleinsensitiverepugnantcynicalignorantidiotic

Hypocritical Jokes

What's an ironic and hypocritical sentence?

"I'm not telling you what to do, so don't tell me what to do!"

The U.S is so hypocritical

Claims to be a republic, but uses the imperial system...

What do you call a hypocritical cactus

A prick

Hypocritical People

People are so hypocritical these days! The other day I went into a library, started screaming and shouting and everyone told me to shut up.

Then, later on, when I did the same thing on an aeroplane, everyone joined in!

It's Amusingly hypocritical for my wife to get upset at me buying a $89 samurai sword

When she has no problem spending $150 on groceries.

An Atheist Walking In The Woods Is Chased By A Bear

An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He...

What do you call a hypocritical member of the church of Latter Day Saints?

an oxy-mormon.

or, all of them.

An atheist in the forest...

stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I ...

If a doctor takes a hippocratic oath after completing med school, what does a lawyer take after graduating law school?

A hypocritical oath.

The atheist and the bear

One day, an atheist man was walking through the woods. He was a proud atheist, never skipping the opportunity to mock those of faith for their ignorance and blindness to reality. He was enjoying his stroll through nature.
All of a sudden, there was a loud crashing behind him. He turned to look an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus sits down one day and considers the high rate of drug abuse that will follow long after his time on earth.

He thinks it is a bit hypocritical of him to condemn them without first trying them himself, so he sends his apostles out to see what drugs they can find.

A couple of days later Jesus hears a knock at the door. “Who is it?”. “Paul.”Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring, Paul?”. “Hashish f...

An Atheist is walking through the woods...

and when as he rounds a corner, he sees a huge bear. He turns and runs, and the bear starts to chase him. All of a sudden, he trips and falls. The man turns over to see the bear looming over him, and he screams, "Oh God!"

Time freezes. The heavens open up, and he hears the voice of God.
<...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.