UPJOKE
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As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back.

And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."

People keep telling me that I'm a condescending person

( That means I talk down to people. )

People always tell me I’m condescending

(That means talking down to people)

The first rule of Condescending club......

is kind of complex, and I don't think you would understand it, even if I explained it to you !

I'm trying to work on being less condescending.

(Condescending means treating people like they have less intelligence than yourself)

TIFU when my wife asked when I knew I loved her.

I said "We were in Rome, the way you knew so much about the city like it was second nature to you. But I never felt you were condescending to me when I'd ask stupid questions. I saw how much you knew, how passionate you could be. I'd been bored by all the old buildings, but you brought it all to lif...

How to sound condescending? Just scream, "I robbed a bank"

While Jumping From A Helicopter.

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I was driving past a prison the other day...

Looking out my window, I glanced up and saw a dwarf scaling down a very tall fence. It was obvious he was breaking out of the prison. I looked up at him and he looked down at me with an angry stare like “wtf the fuck are you looking at?”

I drove away and thought to myself that was a little co...

Which bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh!

I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall

It was a little condescending

I'm always shocked when people call me condescending.

Because that's a very big word.

My grandpa has been condescending Dave and Ray Davies since the 60s...

I guess he’s really into Kink shaming.

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I'm not condescending!

Try and count how many times I've been condescending! Exactly; you can't cause you're a dumbass.

I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but...

you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either.

My mom said I was repetitive, condescending, forgetful and repetitive.

But one day, I’ll be sure

Listen, the last thing I want to do here is be condescending

That means "to talk down to"

*(Credit: Bob Newhart)*

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Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church...

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church on which a large poster addresses non-Catholics: "Come to us, accept Catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash!" While walking away, the two friends become engaged in a debate about whether the offer is meant seriously. A week later the two friends ...

How do you know if you're condescending to an ignorant person?

Oh never mind you don't know the answer anyway.

Do you want to hear a really condescending joke?

... Do you even know what that means?

Today my friend accused me of being condescending.

It's ridiculous, I don't even think he knows what that word means.

Cop: I’m going to write you a ticket. If you stop acting so condescending, I’ll let you off with a warning.

Me: Don’t you mean condescendingly?

What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps?

A condescending con descending.

My wife didn’t like my joke about a prisoner with dwarfism falling out of a window...

...she said it was a little condescending.

Did you hear about the dwarf that escaped by rappelling from Alcatraz?

I would tell you, but it’s a little condescending.

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?

In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks...

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending!


(This has been my favorite joke for years, so I thought I’d share! :) Pretty sure I originally saw if from a tumblr post, it’s not my original joke)

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger...

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

I was at the courthouse today and witnessed a 4 foot tall felon go down a flight of stairs....

It was a little condescending.

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A tough guy walks into a bar…

…and sits down next to a small man. He looks over at the small man and snorts condescendingly. The small man decides to just ignore him.

Several minutes go by, and *WHACK!* The small man falls to the ground from his stool. The tough guy sneers and says, “THAT was a Kung Fu chop from China!” T...

I got a joke but it requires that you know who D.B. Cooper is

I don't want to sound condescending while telling a joke about a con descending

I read a book the other day about the emotion struggles of an attractive hustler walking down stairs.

The ending was pretty condescending.

Two sisters are talking & one of them starts complaining about being on her period and starts venting about boy problems...

Her sister condescendingly replies “You just have problems with men sis”

What does a felon falling from an airplane and a significant other talking down to you have in common?

Condescending

I went to the store and got what I thought sweetened condensed milk.

When I got home and opened it up, it said “You don’t know how to cook, but you’re trying so hard. Bless your heart, honey.”

Turns out it was sweet’n condescending milk.

I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us

He's not dead, just very condescending

An guy with dwarfism tried explaining he escaped by climbing down the outside wall of a prison

It was a little condescending.

I hate being patronised

Patronised means they speak with a sense of superiority and are condescending

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Bragging Doctors

Doc 1 bragged, "I had a patient once who blew out his ACL & MCL. I reconstructed his knee, and 2 years later he completed the Boston marathon."

Doc 2 replied, "That's nothing! I had a patient who was in a head-on collision with a truck. I reconstructed virtually all of his joints and more...

A young man and woman hit it off at a gathering

and the conversation soon turns to talking about their families. The girl sighs and says, “I'm sure wherever my dad is, he's looking down on us.” “I’m sorry”, the boy says sympathetically .”Oh, he's not dead.”, replies the girl, “Just very condescending.”

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