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Ruthless Jokes

Ruthless

My wife's name is Ruth.
She left me.
Now, I am Ruthless.

My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike.

I rode on, ruthlessly.

Why is Kim Jong Un so ruthless?

Because he has no Seoul.

Ever since Bader Ginsburg died…

… The American Supreme Court has been Ruthless.

I have recently become known among friends and neighbors for being ruthless....



Stupid description for someone whose wife is named Ruth and who has filed for divorce.

A ruthless mafia tortures its debtors who cannot pay their debts

They always use needles in torturing their unfortunate debtors, so that they inflict a lot of pain without killing the debtors.

Because of this, all the debtors to this mafia repay their debts on time.

And there are fewer pointless deaths.

A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell.

When he got there,he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly longline, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell.

So the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"<...

What does a rude Frenchman and a ruthless Englishman have in common?

No Merci.

My friend's dad was just telling me his wife Ruth left him for another man..

I just said "Ruthless.."

He did not laugh..

True story.

My wife Ruth just died at age 78

Is it too soon to call myself Ruthless?

Don't get involved in organized insect crimes.

The mothia is ruthless.

Is it just me, or is the US Supreme Court getting increasingly brutal?

Ruthless, even.

Ruth got fired while she was on pregnancy leave

Her company is just ruthless

Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill...

...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly.

People say I’m too aggressive when I’m trading baseball cards.

It’s because I’m Ruthless.

my aunt ruth died in a horrible explosion

they couldn't even find any body parts to put in the casket

the funeral was ruthless.

I broke up with my girlfriend, Ruth..

Now her friends call me ruthless.

I don't mind using my roommates toothbrush

I mean would you rather be ruthless or toothless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Aunt Ruth went missing

It turned out she was kidnapped and murdered before my uncle could pay the ransom. He went on a rampage, finding and slaughtering every last man who participated in kidnapping her, even going so far as to torture some of them. You could say he was.....

Ruthless

I met a girl named Ruth

When she left me, I became Ruthless

Have you heard of the baseball player whose full name was babe?

He was ruthless

A group of girls named Karen, Jane and Ruth often hang out. What are Karen and Jane like by themselves?

Completely Ruthless

What's the difference between COVID-19 and Donald Trump?

One is a ruthless force hellbent on killing hundreds of thousands, and the other is a virus.

Did you hear about that decision the Supreme Court handed down without Justice Ginsburg?

It was ruthless.

Ruth just dumped me. Told me I was too uptight. Well, now I'm

Ruthless.

Albert's wife, Ruth died. The day of her funeral, he showed up with a hot 21yo blonde.

Albert was ruthless

Ruth left our tean, she was sad to go but I helped cheer her up

I told her to look on the bright side... Without her we were gonna play even better than ever before! She asked why... Because without Ruth, our team would be Ruthless!

Donald Trump better not remove Justice Ginsberg from the supreme court.

that would be ruthless

Eight of the Supreme Court justices, except for Ginsburg, went out on a killing spree, executing everyone they came across.....

... they were Ruthless

Ruth is the only person that i show mercy to

If i didn't have her, I'd be completely Ruthless

Ruth and Johnny

Ruth and Johnny, side by side, went out for an auto ride. They hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree, Johnny kept going Ruthlessly.

Ruth rode on my motorcycle, on the seat behind me...

I took a bump at 95, and rode on ruthlessly

What do you call an 85 year old Jewish man that murdered his wife?

Ruthless

Did you know that, during the first game of the 1936 baseball season, the Boston Braves managed to win while also badly injuring six players on the opposing team?

They were truly ruthless.

I'm dating a girl called Ruth..

.. once she dumps me, I'll be Ruthless! HAAAA!!

someone tore an entire book out of my bible!

my old testament is ruthless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nice try Scottish Power

The energy monitor they just installed draws electricity 24/7/365 - those fuckers are ruthless.

The Story of Ruth and Johnnie

Once upon a time...

Ruth and Johnny drove through the woods
To see what they could see.

The car hit a bump.
Then Ruth hit a tree.
But Johnny went on.

Ruthlessly.

A PSA

I need to give everyone a warning. I was at the local Home Depot getting back into my truck where three hot young women came up to me and started rubbing their bodies all over me. Things got hot and heavy and a good time was had by all. I was heading home and I found that my wallet was missing! <...

Difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong-un.

One is tyrannical and ruthless dictator, who destroys each and every opposition and other is supreme leader of North Korea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kanye’s rise to fame

Right before dropping out of college and kick starting his rap career, Kanye West went to visit his wealthy aunt, Shirlie Faulker, who owned a rubber products manufacturing factory on the outskirts of Paris, France. He decided to spend his summer break working at the factory part time while deciding...

Boaz must've been one hell of a roaster before he got married.

Because he was Ruthless.

The 1920 Red Sox

were completely ruthless...

Ruth wasn't invited to the party.

The people at the party were ruthless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are lost on an island.

3 Men are lost in an island.

They find out that the island is filled with ruthless cannibals. They are caught by the cannibals, and are taken to the leader of their tribe for a hearing.

Bored, the leader asks each of the three to bring 10 fruits of one kind, Example, 10 bananas, etc....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two hobos with a sausage walk into a bar.

First one tells the other,

"Let's order a ton of food and drinks. Once we're drunk, I'll whip out this sausage link, and you go under the table and start sucking this thing. When security sees what we're doing, they'll have no choice but to kick us out before we pay."

For the next cou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monastery opens a flower shop [long]

Outside a large town, a monastery was running out of money. The monks conferred, and decided the best way to alleviate their financial woes would be to use their considerable gardening skills to sell flowers. They used what was left in the coffers to buy a small shop, and opened a store.
After ...

Boonta

Three men are marooned on island in the middle of the sea. They soon realize that the island is the home of the Wanooka tribe, known for being ruthless and murderous. They are captured and brought to the main village. The Wanooka chief goes of to the first man and asks him a question. "Death or Boon...

Let He Without Sin Cast the First Stone.

Jim had caught his younger brother stealing money from his room earlier. He had chased him all the way into the back yard and was about to throw a stone at his brother when his father appeared.


Dad: In the bible it says: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone......”...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s parade day in Russia and 3 military thieves are locked in a jail cell awaiting their punishment.

All the other males in the army are either partaking in the parade or out celebrating their national pride and getting drunk on vodka so they have cleverly entrusted their female counterparts to continue running things whilst they are gone.

A female Lieutenant asks her superior, “How are we t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a defected army general named Choo who was hellbent on taking over the world

The army he commanded was the most fierce, most massive and the most successful army in the region. The army was so reputable, that they informally became known as the R's, for Ruthless, because they took no survivors. It was either join them or die. So naturally, many people wanted to work for them...

Lieutenant Dan has to deliver bad news.

One day, from the office of the General of the Army comes a letter for Lieutenant Dan bearing bad news. Private John's wife had passed away in a horrible car accident.

The General strongly suggested that breaking the news lightly to John would be course of action.
Lieutenant Dan, with hi...

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