Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of his life, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which caused him to be rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a:

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

What do you call a wizard

who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?

A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis..

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4 Men at a bar discuss the most difficult sport to play. The first man, wide as a dishwasher and having huge muscles all over, says

“I’m a football player, it’s the hardest sport in the world to play! You’ve gotta be in top physical condition and have excellent situational awareness.”

The second man, an older gentleman wearing a collared shirt, says “Sorry champ, but the actual hardest sport to play is golf. Every swing o...

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

......he kisses his wife goodbye. He’s nervous about the new job and not sure if it’s for him.

He’s assigned his bus, and as he walks up to it, he notices that it has a big promotional for Sesame Street on the side. “Great,” he thinks, ...

So Gandhi wandered the desert barefoot and had hard, worn feet...

He was very thin from fasting often, his followers considered him prophetic, and because of his fasting and strange diet had chronic bad breath.

In short, you could say he was a

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

I told my wife her toe looks weird

She said “That’s a little callous”

Ghandi walked around barefoot most of the time, so he had rough feet. And he fasted a lot for spiritual and political reasons, so he’s not very physically strong. And because of the fasting, you could say that he did not have great breath, it didn’t smell great.

So to sum it all up, you could say that Ghandi was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when h...

There once was a wise old man...

There once was a wise old man in a village. Old beyond memory, he channeled the knowledge of nature and the divine for his fellow townsfolk.


Many came to him with questions, until one day he took a vow of silence, shuttering his open door. Instead, he turned to his untended field. He wou...

Gandhi was a well-traveled man..

Unfortunately, the majority of these travels were taken on foot, causing his feet to build up an incredible amount of hardened skin

To make things worse, his minimalist diet (and eventually his age) led him to become very frail.

In light of this, he still offered a surplus of insight t...

It took Gandhi over a month to cross the Alps barefoot, no washing, worn out, and survived only on garlic. He was a...

Super-calloused fragile mystic, extra halitosis.

There was a lad named John

There was a lad named John who was dealt a bad hand since he was born. He was an orphan who was brought up in a for profit orphanage, leading him to suffer mental trauma amongst other issues. After turning 16, he was kicked out of the orphanage with no support whatsoever. Not knowing what to do, he ...

My nanny once told me of an emotionally distant but insecure yogi who fell ill and subsequently developed bad breath.

It was a super callous fragile mystic down with halitosis.

Sudden realization moment

While speaking with my dad, he said to me "Gandhi fasted so long that his frame was rather frail, and when he ate the strangest fruit his breath was often stale, and he walked barefoot so hardened bottoms were his diagnosis."

Oh my God, I can't believe it...

He was a Super Callous Frag...

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He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room...

He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room.

Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.

He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear, “Just relax.”

Without warning, he reached d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting next to a woman on a jet that's getting ready to take off.

Suddenly, the man sneezes. He unzips his pants and wipes off the end of his penis with his handkerchief. He zips up and continues reading his magazine. The woman cannot believe what she just saw.

Then he sneezes again, unzips, pulls out his penis and wipes it off with a handkerchief. The...

So, in "Infinity War"...

Doctor Strange is in battle with Thanos. He sees all the future scenarios that are possible. He lets Thanos get the infinity gauntlet, allowing the deaths of half the universe. He never tells anyone what exactly he saw. The other Avengers saw this as being an incredibly cruel decision to make.
...

Their ones was a very old monk...

who took a while to get anywhere he was going because he was afraid that he would fall and break something. Everywhere he went he would walk in his bare feet because he had forsworn shoes as part of his vows. His breath was so bad that people claimed that they could smell it from the other room. ...

Ghandi spent a lot of time fasting in his life, which made him thin and frail. He chose not to wear shoes often, so when he walked, he toughened up his feet. Rarely did he brush his teeth.

That makes him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Mahatma Gandhi The Wise?

I thought not. It's not a story the British would tell you.

It's a Hindi legend. Gandhi was an Indian activist, so powerful and wise he could walk miles and miles without shoes, developing blisters on his feet. He had such a knowledge of resilience, he could even live through hunger strikes w...

Ghandi joke

As I'm sure you've heard, Gandhi, a very spiritual man, used hunger strikes and peaceful marches as tactics to bring attention to the plight of his people. Unfortunately, this had some negative effects on his health and well being. Besides overall weakness due to lack of food, persistent near starva...

Ghandi was a what?

So we all know how Ghandi was a wonderful person and a pioneer in the non violent protest movement. But there are some facets of his life that add up to a very rare diagnosis.

First of all, he walked everywhere barefoot which made his feet very tough.

Secondly his diet was comple...

My girlfriend told me that the way I treated her....

My girlfriend told me that the way I treated her, cheating on her, coming home at all hours of the night, disrespecting her parents, never helping around the house, running up her credit cards, hitting on her best friends, and the callousness with which I did it all, was inconceivable.

I said...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man washes up on a deserted beach...

He coughs up some water and tries to find himself some civilization. He walk around until it becomes apparent he is alone on an island except for a pig and a dog, both of which are strangely domesticated. Oh well, time to Robinson Crusoe the shit out of this island.

He starts a fire. Builds ...

What do you call a Monk with osteoporosis who likes eating onions and walks everywhere barefoot

He’s a Super fragile calloused mystic plagued with halitosis.

What would Mary Poppins call Gandhi if she ever met him?

A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Catfood

So this woman has her bridge club every Thursday night, and after a peaceful game or three with the ladies she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game, she has an incredible hand, when she notices the time.

"Oh, no! I ...

Top 10 worst jokes!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."


3.Two peanuts walk into a ba...

A Jewish man traveled to a small mountain island

He was greeted at the harbor by a friendly resident who took him on a tour of the town. As they were walking, they heard a squeal and saw a small furry creature falling down the mountain, tumbling past them before rolling to a stop. The Jewish man looked on in astonishment at this exotic creature. <...

While climbing barefoot up mountains to meditate, Ghandi would squeeze garlic into his mouth to deal with hunger pains from fasting

super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis

Bill is housesitting for his brother Bob over a long vacation

One day, Bob calls Bill to check in on how everything is, and see how his cat is doing. Bill very abruptly and callously says "Cat's dead, Bob."

Bob is overcome with shock, and when he finally collects himself he says "Bill, that was very rude, and was quite jarring. You need to learn how to...

I wrote a song about Ghandi

It is called "Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis"

Ghandi is my role model

Everyone knows about Gandhi. Pacifist, role model of MLK, and arguably the most important man in the movement of Indian independence. Of course, aside from his upstanding character, he did have a multitude of physical flaws. As an Indian peasant, he rarely wore shoes because he was too poor to affor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Aristocrats return to the talent agency...(OC)

The agent says, "Holy fuck, not you asshats again." The father shakes his head, "No, no. It's a totally different show. I swear, this one is going to be really big." The agent has a slow day, so he waves his hand for them to continue.

The father looks at his son, "Ok, Bernard..." and the son...

My dad's Gandhi joke

How much do you know about Gandhi?

He would go on hunger strikes, so he was a pretty skinny guy to begin with. But one time, he walked all the way from the interior of India to the coast to pick up salt from the seaside. He was protesting something to do with British taxes, I can't remember t...

Nursing home

Arthur is in a nursing home after the death of his wife and he feels depressed.
Betty notices this and asks if there is anything she can do. He says 'well my wife used to sit with me in the evenings and just hold it for me. I miss that touch.'
Betty is a game and a kind woman so she takes to ...

What do Ghandi and Mary Poppins have in common?

Gandhi's political power was born from his ultra modest means - but it came at a price. His feet were in terrible condition due to his insistence on wearing rough leather sandals. Hunger strikes weakened his immune system and he was very prone to illness, but in his moments of weakness, he is said t...

So we all know about Gandhi right?

Well Gandhi as well know was a very important person who in recent times has taken on a mystic quality to some. He often fasted for long periods of time making him rather weak and fragile, he went barefoot for long periods of time and so it's fair to assume he built up lots and lots of callouses an...

Gandhi, as you know, would walk barefoot everywhere...

...and as a result he developed these massive callouses on his feet. He would also fast, from time to time. Because of this lack of food his bones became extremely brittle. It would also give him hallucinations from time to time. Finally, Gandhi never really had the time to clean his teeth and he be...

Dead Cat

A rich businessman goes on holiday .While he is away his butler sends him a message saying “Cats dead”.

Distraught at the death of his beloved pet the man returns home and berates the butler for being so callous.

“You should break bad news gently” says the businessman .“If I had been ...

Have you heard about Gandhi?

Gandhi walked around a bunch and built up giant callouses on the bottoms of his feet. He fasted a bunch which gave his bones a rather fragile brittle nature. He was a spiritual man, a mystic to many people. And he had a strange diet of green tea and white rice which gave him constant bad breath. ...

Did you hear about the Shaman?

He chose to walk the world barefoot which caused he feet to blister a thousand times over.

He ate only bugs and berries that he found in nature which caused him to became very frail.

This diet also caused him to be plagued with horribly bad breath.

He was known as the Supe...

What do you call a really cranky shaman with bad breath and osteoporosis?

A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

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